AskCynthia

I will say it again!

2008-05-15T10:14:00.002-05:00

I can't seem to say it enough---a wedding day is NOT a do-over day!
The bride and groom, as host and hostess of their first party together as man and wife, have one day, one shot, one chance to make a difference in the lives of their guests. What you do with your day is up to you, but I can plead and plead until the cows come home---please make your day count!

If your budget won't allow you to do all of the things that you want to do, then scale back the guest list or your choices. Maybe wait a year while you save money to have the wedding of your dreams. We seem to be a hurry-up society, I want-it-now type of people that don't want to wait and plan--just get it done and over with. Is this the way you see your marriage?

Yes, I know, it is just a wedding! Just a party!
Not really--think about it and refer back to the first paragraph of this blog. Make a difference, not a dent!

Being Gracious under Fire

2008-05-13T08:49:00.002-05:00

I have heard it said (and I believe its truth), that a person's character is shaped under adversity and how he acts when no one is looking. It is how we react to touch situations that really shows the mettle that we are made from.

My wedding couple last week was a shining example of how to be a gracious host when all else fails. They planned and planned for an elegant and beautiful wedding. There were few glitches at the ceremony and the bride and groom were stunning; then came the reception. The caterer that they hired ran out of food almost half way through the dinner hour. I won't go into here (because I want to save that for another blog!), but suffice it to say that this man and wife really were tested under the fire as a couple. In my opinion, they came out perfect and did everything they should have to salvage their reception for their guests.

When the service was shoddy, they kept smiling and made their guests feel welcomed. They laughed with their guests, hugged them, loved them, and kept on being gracious even when most would have been ready to throw in the towel.
They went the extra mile to ensure that their guests were taken care of even at a hefty price tag to their own budget by coming up with creative ways to feed the remainder of their guests.

My prediction for their marriage is the same as their gracious solutions--a sure fire winner!

Help, When Needed

2008-05-11T12:47:00.002-05:00

I attended a wedding yesterday.

Suffice it to say that a good venue is worth it weight in gold when the venue coordinator is a sweetheart to work with, cares about her clients, and really does go the extra mile. Jaymie at the Foxboro in Johnston should be given a raise for her excellent client care last night. The wedding couple chose wisely when they decided to have their wedding at the Foxboro Conference Center. I have been fortunate enough to work with Foxboro and each time have not been disappointed in their caring spirit. Keven Harris does a great job of infusing personal style and care with each of his coordinators.

Kudos for a job well handled!

The wedding planner and the realtor

2008-05-09T08:28:00.002-05:00

I don't just plan weddings. I also plan corporate events, birthday parties, family functions and others. I am also an ordinary citizen with an ordinary life that has to go about living, just like every one else. However, being an event planner who is supposed to be organized and on top of things, was no match for a very sour experience with a realty company recently.

I am buying a house. Trust me when I say that I would rather plan a hundred weddings all at the same time than buy a house! I thought that it would be an easy process, especially since I found the house of my dreams, but as I often tell my clients, vendors can really make or break your event day experience. A good vendor will help make your experience as perfect as possible; you will remember the day with fondness and when you speak about the experience, you will always speak of certain vendors with respect and kindness. After all, word of mouth is still the best and quickest form of advertising. But get one bad vendor and the whole event can come crashing down. Luckily, there are back up plans, plans A - Z and emergency fixes that can help save the day.

You guessed it, I had a not so great experience with a realtor. That is putting it mildly. Even though you try to have as much control as possible over a situation, some things are just beyond your reach and this experience taught that as much as any life lesson I have had recently. Luckily, I had a guardian angel looking out for me and to make a long story short, I did get to buy my house.

Lessons for us all? Hire the very best professionals that you can. They really do make a difference in the overall experience of the day.
Ask for referrals. If I would have done my homework like I should have, I would have found out that I had gotten a lemon.
If your relationship with a vendor is less than desirable, find another who really does care about your event immediately. There are many out there that want your business; who care about their reputation and want to make a difference in other's lives. It is a shame to stay with one who doesn't care and only looks at your event with dollar signs in their eyes.

I should learn to take my own advice!

Hitting a nerve

2008-05-06T01:03:00.002-05:00

I seem to have hit a nerve when I spoke up against the dreaded Dollar Dance. Making your guests pay for the privilege of dancing with you has never set well with me. I understand that everyone has an opinion about this practice, but for the most part, I think that guests are getting tired of shelling out money every time a couple sends them an invitation. Put yourself in your guests' shoes for a change.

You send me an invitation. I am thrilled to be invited and mark accept on the RSVP and mail it back (Yes--we are supposed to mail back RSVP's!)
I noticed that you didn't include my children on the invitation envelope, so I will need to get a babysitter for the weekend since you are 500 miles away from where we live. I also will need to put my dog in the kennel since I won't be home to feed and let him out.
The invitation says dress code, so I will go buy a new dress. I love to shop so this is fun--right? I need to also buy you a wedding gift. What kind of guest shows up at a wedding without a gift. I see from your web site that you are registered at Bed Bath and Beyond. I hope I can find my 20% coupon that I got in Sunday's paper because the towel set that you want costs more than my entire bathroom!

I will have to do some traveling and with the price of gas, we won't be taking the SUV. I will have to take a cooler of food or find a place to eat along the way since we will be traveling quite a ways and we may get hungry. I guess I could look into flying, but then I would have to carry on your gift because I can't afford to ship it. I will need to pack light because it costs now to check extra luggage and we will have to pay the babysitter for an extra two hours now that we have to be at the airport earlier than necessary.

The hotel rooms that you have blocked off is a little out of our budget, but since we haven't seen the family in quite a while and the after party in the hotel is always a lot of fun we will go ahead and reserve a room for two nights. I wonder if they give a AAA discount?

I get to your wedding and everything is so lovely! The family is glad to see us, although they don't have much time to stop and chat. You are busy getting married and I know that you don't have time to talk to us personally because you are sitting up on the risers at your head table talking to your friends that you see every day, but you sure do look like you are having a good time. Don't worry about us--we are doing great with the rubbery chicken and green beans. (I wonder if there are any sandwiches left in the cooler?)

Watching you dance is fun, but by the time we have paid for the drinks at the cash bar and the dollar dance (because we really wanted to say hello to you and let you know that we were here for your special day), we are broke and ready to go home.

Mailing off the RSVP??? Maybe we should attend the company picnic instead. At least it might help toward that raise we will need when your sister gets married in two years.

The Dollar Dance

2008-05-03T20:28:00.002-05:00

I am often amazed by brides who insist on a Dollar Dance at their weddings. For those of you who aren't familiar with this bit of "tradition," it consists of people paying for the privilege to dance with you at your own wedding. If they aren't literally pinning on a dollar, your MOH is usually beside you taking the money.

Why on earth would you want your guests to pay for dancing with you at your own wedding; the party that YOU invited them to attend? You might as well charge admission at the reception door! I have never understood this type of behavior and try to discourage it whenever I can. You should be honored and thrilled to dance with your guests; not asking them to pay for this time with you. What is the difference between this practice and the dance partner that men have to pay for? The location? The wedding invitation? The dress?

Brides, please make your guests feel welcomed at your wedding; give them good food, good music, your thankfulness and your gracious spirit, but please don't make them pay for the privilege of celebrating with you!

The final countdown

2008-05-01T08:51:00.002-05:00

Going from Engaged to Being Married takes some planning, thoughtful reflections, much shopping, and lots of patience. Spending the last week of your engagement exhausted and yelling at each other isn't the way to happily wedded bliss.

Organization, teamwork, balance and perspective are the keys to loving the wedding planning process. Planning your wedding should be an adventure in teamwork with your fiance. If you can't plan a wedding together without fighting, yelling, huge disagreements and name-calling, how do you think that working in a marriage together for the rest of your lives is going to be any easier?

"She was too organized" has never been written on anyone's epitaph, so write down your ideas and plans, keep receipts, and follow up with vendors for a successful event. It only takes a few minutes every week to stay organized.

Keeping perspective and balance is a must for a healthy lifestyle--the same goes for wedding planning. Don't worry about what you have no control over. Hire the best professionals you can, do the due diligence, and then sit back and go with the flow. Relax and enjoy what you have planned. Life is way too short to get bent out of shape over the wrong shade of green in the hydrangeas.

The DIY bride

2008-04-29T08:42:00.002-05:00

I understand craftiness and organization. I embrace a can-do spirit and I certainly admire a strong attitude and passion. But when is enough enough?

I was fortunate enough to attend a beautiful wedding recently where the bride was highly organized, very artistic and lovely in spirit. The only downfall? Not being able to enjoy being a bride! Except for 20 minutes right before the wedding ceremony, the bride was doing this and that, concerned with that project and this precise execution and trying to be in the middle of it all. She literally frazzled herself into a non-bride status.

I realize that for some it is hard to let go, but every bride needs to relish her day; sit back--relax, be pampered and utterly spoiled. Your wedding day will not come around again, so why not take advantage of the moment and drink in every delicious aspect of this being "your day!"

I appreciate the fact that you want everything to be perfect, but there comes a time when you need to let go and take whatever comes for the day. If you have hired professionals, have organized until there is no more organizing left to do and still find yourself not able to let go, then you have no one to blame but yourself when at the end of the day you are too tired and worn out to enjoy what you have "created."

"Don't sweat the small stuff"--truer words were never spoken for a wedding day.

Wedding facts

2008-04-28T13:07:00.002-05:00

I am always intrigued by wedding facts. The industry is a multi-million dollar business, so knowing who is making decisions and what is important is valuable for me to know if I want to stay ahead of the curve.

Here are some facts that I find very interesting:

1. 101, 791 --number of roses in the world's largest bouquet.
2. 62% of U.S. weddings that include a flower girl
3. $202,000 ---cost of the world's most expensive orchid
4. It takes a little over 10,000 rose petals to make a flower aisle runner.
5. The average wedding in the U.S. costs over $28,800!
6. In 2008, couples are expected to spend less on reception entertainment, car rentals and the groom's ring and more on gifts for each other, ceremony decorations and groom accessories.
7. About 500,000 trees every year are used to support weddings in the United States.
8. Some wedding dresses are made out of hemp or bamboo fabric to support a "green earth."
9. Approximately 1.8 million weddings will use the Internet to buy at least one service for their wedding. That translates into roughly 81% of all wedding couples.
10. There is over $57,000,000,000 that is spent on weddings in the U. S. every year.

Kind of makes you wonder about what we are spending our money on and are we really getting the best bang for the buck, especially with the divorce rate over 50%!

Wedding this past weekend

2008-04-27T12:28:00.002-05:00

I attended a beautiful wedding yesterday.
The bride wore a beautiful white dress with beading and the cutest little bustle that made her feel like a princess when she walked.

The weather behaved so that we could be outside--no rain and no one needed to wear a heavy parka (although it was slightly cool). White chairs lined up like pristine soldiers waiting for their marching orders; a white aisle runner waiting for a perfect bride and sunshine to bless the day.

Instead of telling you what went wrong, how about telling you what went right: Two people met and fell in love! They scrimped and saved to treat their guests and family to a beautiful day created out of love and friendship. The meal was delicious, the bar hosted, the music fun and lively, and the wedding cake plentiful.

They kissed each other, had smiles on their faces, laughed and thanked their guests for coming and then went off together to start their life together. A pretty amazing day, wouldn't you say?

Stealing is never a good idea

2008-04-25T08:52:00.003-05:00

Weddings in Iowa hosted a great Bridal show this past Sunday at the new Jordan Creek Holiday Inn & Suites (love them!). The show was a great success!
As you can probably tell by now, I am pretty passionate about weddings and events and doing things the right way, the first time-every time. I love hosting bridal shows as it brings together vendors and brides together. More knowledge is always good and informed brides make smart decisions, but one of things that I have issue with at shows are camera phones and thievery. It happens at every bridal show and I don't know how to stop it other than carrying a big stick and hiring armed guards (kidding!).

Every time a bride takes a picture of someone's designs or tablescaping, it is theft. While we are flattered that you think enough of our designs to take a picture, please don't, because those are our designs. We have put a lot of time, money and effort into creating those exhibits and for guests to take pictures and then take them to someone else to duplicate, is a crime. Kind of like you coming up with a great idea and then someone else steals it, presents it to the boss, and they get the raise and the accolades; you still pound away in your little cubicle. Not fair is it? It hurts doesn't it? We have the same feelings too.

And by the way, please don't steal things from our tables unless offered. I have a paper stylist who works long hours, has a family to support, and is incredibly talented, but when you take her menus or place cards from the table, she not only has to recreate another one for the next display, but your copyright theft has taken earnings away from her livelihood. I am sure that you wouldn't like that as well, so why think that "she won't mind if I take one little card!" We do mind--a lot!

Please come to the shows, talk to vendors, glean all of the handouts, knowledge and information that you can to make your wedding day as special as possible, but please be respectful. We work hard for you; we would like to be rewarded for our efforts.

Wedding show last Sunday

2008-04-22T21:32:00.003-05:00

We hosted a beautiful wedding show last Sunday at the new Holiday Inn & Suites at Jordan Creek. If you have not seen this facility, it is beautiful, but the best way to describe it is in its ambiance. Their designers have done an amazing job of creating a feeling of comfort and hospitality. Brides will have a great reception with not only the food from Johnny's Italian Steak House (Yum!), but the catering staff is right on the ball. A great combination for a memorable event.

Creating memories are important and your venue and staff can really make or break your event. The New Holiday Inn will certainly help your event be a slice of perfection.

Even Wedding Planners have fun!

2008-04-19T01:43:00.002-05:00

Meeting brides and hearing about their special day is a great thrill for me. I love all brides and their stories. I may not agree with their philosophies sometimes, but everything romantic and wonderful I totally "get!"

There is no better place to meet brides than at a wedding show. They are excited, open, and seeking. They generally have their mother or friends with them and the excitement and anticipation for their wedding day fills the air.

I am looking forward to the Bridal show this Sunday at the New Holiday Inn on Mills Civic Parkway. I would love to meet every bride that attends and will do my best to greet as many as I can. It will be a beautiful and excitement-rich day filled with dreams and wishes; a place where every bride can dream about her once-in-a-lifetime fairy tale day that holds magic and joy---knowing that somewhere in that vendor-filled room, is a dream just waiting to unfold.

Is it any wonder why I love this job? See you Sunday!

Kindness will take you a long ways

2008-04-17T09:20:00.003-05:00

My parents taught me that flies are much more attracted to honey than vinegar. In other words, kindness will get you farther in life than sour dispositions.

Many vendors will often tell me that they have to deal with less than savory couples sometimes. They will make an appointment and not show up; short the check and not pay the balance; belittle them at the wedding reception; and shout and rant over the smallest things.

Many couples will often complain about their vendors. Just going to the Knot will show you that there are a lot of unhappy wedding couples out there. Too late for appointed times of start; not the right product or color; not returning phone calls; bad attitudes and rudeness.

Sounds to me like a case of too much vinegar and not enough honey! Here's a thought---how about treating each other like you would like to be treated? The golden rule is still all of that--a golden rule to live by.

Planning for the big day-getting past page 3!

2008-04-16T09:26:00.004-05:00

I met with a client a couple of weeks ago to help her plan her wedding. I have a 30 some page document that I go through with my clients so that I can get to know more about them, their likes and dislikes, what their goals are for their wedding day and what their style is like. I am sad to say that we didn't make it past page 3 when she told me that her main goal of the wedding were the 3 kegs that they had on order with one on reserve. We weren't a good fit and she won't be needing my services.

I met with still another bride that told me her entire goal was to get drunk so that she didn't have to perform her "wifely duties" on her wedding night! Probably too much information gathering there. Again, we didn't make it past page 3.

I met with another couple about a month ago that told me their goal for their wedding was to make sure that they avoided his parents the entire evening and wondered if I could act as a "buffer and diversion" all night. Again, we didn't make it past page 3.

I am going to have to revise my worksheet to exclude page 3!

Busy as always

2008-04-13T09:08:00.002-05:00

I have been very busy lately trying to get ready for the upcoming Bridal show next Sunday at the New Holiday Inn and & Suites @ Jordan Creek in West Des Moines. To say that I am excited would be an understatement.

I am excited to be working with the hotel as it is a wonderful company to partner with. If you have ever stayed at a Heart of America hotel or ate at one of their restaurants, then you know that they are excellent both in service and product. The staff is amazing and I am honored to be a part of their success even if it is in a very minute way.

We are trying to get a very special and beautiful backdrop ready for the show, so I have to go shopping (not hard for me!) for fabric to bring the right look to what we want to achieve. I love it when all of the elements of a decorating package come together perfectly. It reminds me that hard work and diligence pay off.

I hope that you will come see the show, if not for the beautiful decorations, just to see the new Holiday Inn. Des Moines constantly and consistently continues to reach for excellence. Is it any wonder why I love this town?

Camera phones at weddings

2008-04-12T12:56:00.002-05:00

Technology and advancements are usually a good thing. Having the latest and greatest gadgets are the norm rather than a novelty anymore and learning how to be good stewards of them should be part of the package, but as is so many things in our culture today, people need to be reminded of good manners in social settings.

Taking pictures of the bride walking up the aisle with your camera phone is in bad taste, no matter how beautiful she is. The wedding couple has hired a professional photographer, please let him or her do their job. They shouldn't have to fight over zealous guests for a good shot of the wedding couple. They shouldn't have to stand in line while guests jockey for the best position to take a picture with their new Blackberry.

Have a little common sense, please. If the wedding couple asks you to take some candid shots, great--have fun but be respectful. I have seen more than my fair share of "candids" that are in extremely poor taste and all because the guest thought it was "cute!" It isn't. Remember what you have been invited to---a wedding. Treat it with the respect that it deserves.

Gathering information

2008-04-09T06:54:00.003-05:00

As a couple getting married, gathering information to make smart choices for your wedding day can be a task unto itself. How do you know what DJ to choose? What foods do we serve at our wedding? Who do we buy gifts for?

As a planner and an etiquette coach, I try to answer as many questions as I can whenever I can. I attended a lovely gathering last night to where much information was told by the vendors there to the listening guests. I confess that I always enjoy these times because I feel like I am making a difference in their lives for the betterment of their special day.

This is why I hold the Lunch and Learns at the bridal shows that I host.
They are highly energized snippets of information packed into a short amount of time. We talk about etiquette, wedding day dos and don'ts and how to save you thousands of dollars, time and stress.
The vendors and I who talk do so because we love weddings and want everyone to have a perfect day. The next Lunch and Learn is April 20th at the new Holiday Inn & Suites @ Jordan Creek. Come join us and learn how to plan your wedding with grace and dignity, finesse and style.

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 11

2008-04-07T09:56:00.003-05:00

By now, you are well on your way to creating a special day to be remembered by all who attend your wedding, including the two of you!
You will be interviewing vendors, choosing colors and flavors, music and food.
You will have opinions from everyone including vendors, friends and family. They will tell you horror stories of their own experiences, what to watch out for and what to go ahead with.
Here are a few things to keep in mind as you plunge ahead with your perfect day:

1. As you get into the thick of planning your wedding, don't forget that it is your wedding day story that you are telling-not someone else's.
2. Keep the end result in mind and try not to get sidetracked by the incidentals. I am not sure how important having live peacocks are to a wedding ceremony if you can't obtain them in your season.
3. Remember why you are getting married. It is your love for each other, the bond that glues you together, the "forever" life that you are creating that is the most important.
4. Keep in mind that how you treat people during the planning of a wedding is just as important as how you will be treating people the day of your wedding.
5. What you do when you think no one is looking defines your character---always opt for the right thing.
6. Make smart choices within your budget---going into debt for one day is never a good idea.
7. Keep in mind that your wedding is only one day---a very special day---but one day nonetheless. "Don't sweat the small stuff."
8. Treat each other with kindness and respect. What you say and feel during the wedding planning process will stay with you for many many years.
9. Treat your guests with dignity and respect and the utmost friendliness and compassion. Your efforts will come back to you fivefold.
10. Treat your wedding day like you will treat your marriage---hold it fast in your heart, keep to the memories, and treasure the time as if it is your very last.

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 10

2008-04-04T06:51:00.002-05:00

Even the best of event planners sometimes get caught with the unexpected. Having the ability to think fast and be able to mobilize the troops in a hurry is a knack that the best planners have. But what happens to the couple that doesn't hire a wedding planner? They aren't going to suddenly jump off the altar and chase down a missing DJ. They don't have the time to check the cake delivery to see if their wedding cake is set up right, and they sure don't want to be trying to track down down an extension cord because the caterer's hot box won't work in the space allowed. For all of their earlier planning and dreams, you certainly don't want to see the day go by the wayside because of other's mistakes.

Having one or two people to be your eyes and ears throughout the day is one plan that is a must. This person should not be an immediate family member (they are busy celebrating with you!), but rather a very trusted and responsible individual that has the ability to make decisions very fast. They will have your best interests at heart, representing your visions and desires for the day.
They won't push their own agenda, won't be selfish with their actions, and will care for all of your guests as if they are their very own; in short, a "wedding-day guardian angel."

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 9

2008-04-02T05:58:00.002-05:00

After you have determined the budget, the style and the way that you will be presenting yourself at the wedding, the rest is filling in the blanks; details.
Details at an event can make all the difference in the world. You wouldn't think that people would notice a certain votive candle color, or the difference between baby carrots and green beans, but when taken collectively as a whole, the details are what sets your wedding apart from every other event out there. In other words, the details tell your wedding story to your guests.

Planning your wedding should be an adventure. It should not be stressful, but rather a thoughtful process that defines you as a couple. From the invitation style to the color of the handkerchef that sits in the groom's tuxedo pocket, details will help to bring every aspect of your wedding to light. It should all flow together so that at the end of the evening, your guests can say, I had a great time! The wedding was perfect!

Don't be afraid to think outside of the box. If you aren't creative or don't have the time, then enlist the help of someone who is. If you want a certain style or theme at your wedding, then pull all the elements together so that your day reflects your choices. Have fun, but never forget that it takes the two of you to make the marriage--so tell both sides of the story!

I will be on the road for the next few days, so may not be able to get to my computer in a timely manner. If you have questions about your own perfect day, I would love to hear them and will try to answer them when I return.
Weddings are beautiful, wonderful ways to start your lives together, whether in front of a justice of the peace, or in a lavish ballroom setting. Whatever your style, always know that your love for each other should spill over to your guests, family and friends. If you will keep them in the forefront of your planning, you will plan the perfect wedding!

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 8

2008-04-01T11:09:00.002-05:00

Planning a wedding or any type of event takes careful thoughts, planning and execution. You don't want to leave anything to the last minute or to chance when you are responsible for so many people's well being and happiness.

Taking some time to think about your guests is a must when planning the perfect event. If you were attending your own event, how would you want to be treated?
Would you want people to greet you at the door, or leave you to your own devices?
Wouldn't you like to sit down to beautiful decorations and a delicious meal? Wouldn't you like to hear soothing music in the background and then maybe get in a dance or two?
Would you love it if someone offered you a drink without asking you to open up your wallet?
And wouldn't you like to be thanked for coming to the event; made to feel that your presence there really did make a difference in the host's lives?

Sounds like the perfect event, doesn't it? You are almost guaranteed a good time. Then why don't you think your guests want the same thing when they come to your wedding?

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 7

2008-03-31T11:51:00.002-05:00

Now that you have determined the budget, prioritized your plans and have an idea of what you are looking for in a wedding, you will need to determine the "theme," or "story" that you want to share with your guests.

Why do you need a "theme?" Having a consistency throughout your wedding day will let your guests know what to expect. It immediately relaxes the mind and relaxed guests are happy guests. Happy guests stay longer and are more thankful for your attention to their needs; in short a great event.

How do you arrive at the theme? Decide what is near and dear to your heart:
where you met, where you became engaged, a special song or saying? How about a particular color or food or object? One bride loved shoes so that became her theme. We had invitations printed in the shape of a high-heeled shoe, shoe favors, songs with shoes, and even a shoe cake. Guests found it fun and the entire evening was filled with a light-hearted party atmosphere. It was a perfect wedding!

Find the things that are important to you as a couple and share your story with your guests. They will love you for it, because it allows them to share a piece of your life together.

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 6

2008-03-27T08:56:00.003-05:00

When planning a wedding, it is best to keep some priorities in mind.
There will probably not be another time in your life when you will be responsible for so many people's happiness and well-being than at your wedding. Some of your guests you may never see again (I hope that this is not the case, but it happens.). How they remember your wedding event will be a testament to your graciousness and thoughtfulness. If you aren't going to go the extra mile and really show your guests your lovely character, then I have to ask, why go to the trouble of spending thousands of dollars at all?

I hope that you realize that most of you will be spending over $3000 an hour on your wedding day event. $3000! If you don't believe me, then do the math for yourself. Most weddings last 6-7 hours. The average wedding in Iowa costs $26,300. Divide 7 into that number and see what you come up with. Even if you tell yourself, "Oh, I would never spend that on my wedding!" Figure out your hourly expenditure; pretty sobering isn't it?

If you aren't going to give your guests great memories, then why have a wedding at all? Why spend the money?

The Perfect Wedding, Part 5

2008-03-24T13:26:00.003-05:00

Creating the perfect wedding is not as easy as the guide books would have you believe. They don't take into account that you have to work full time, attend classes, have family obligations and must still attend to your life in general while you take on this momentous task of planning a wedding.

At this point in the planning process, you are probably starting to realize that there is a lot to do and very time or resources to get it done. This is the point where you may want to enlist the help of a good wedding planner.

So many brides tell me that they don't need a wedding planner; they have enough friends and family to help out. That may be true, but what if they don't want to help, or have their own life issues to deal with day to day? And what happens the day of the big event? Why should your mother worry about the caterer or the florist? Why can't she enjoy the day? Are you going to get down from the altar to attend to a lost limousine driver? Why does your personal attendant have to help you get ready, handle a wrong cake order and man the guest book table all at the same time? Isn't that depending on a friendship a little too much?

I understand that many people enjoy doing the wedding themselves, love making the decisions, and want to keep control. Hiring a wedding planner doesn't mean that you loose control, have any less input in the plans and it shouldn't mean that you have to stop wrapping ribbon around the invitations yourself; it simply means that you have hired someone to be a sounding a board, an idea gatherer, someone who knows the ins and outs of vendors, someone to handle the day's crisis, and someone who has your best interests at heart. In short, someone who wants your day to be as flawless as you do.

A good wedding planner will help and enhance, elevate your event and be there in the thick of it all, so that you, your friends and family can sit back and relax on your wedding day---a day that should be remembered as the special event that it is.