The DIY bride

I understand craftiness and organization. I embrace a can-do spirit and I certainly admire a strong attitude and passion. But when is enough enough?

I was fortunate enough to attend a beautiful wedding recently where the bride was highly organized, very artistic and lovely in spirit. The only downfall? Not being able to enjoy being a bride! Except for 20 minutes right before the wedding ceremony, the bride was doing this and that, concerned with that project and this precise execution and trying to be in the middle of it all. She literally frazzled herself into a non-bride status.

I realize that for some it is hard to let go, but every bride needs to relish her day; sit back--relax, be pampered and utterly spoiled. Your wedding day will not come around again, so why not take advantage of the moment and drink in every delicious aspect of this being "your day!"

I appreciate the fact that you want everything to be perfect, but there comes a time when you need to let go and take whatever comes for the day. If you have hired professionals, have organized until there is no more organizing left to do and still find yourself not able to let go, then you have no one to blame but yourself when at the end of the day you are too tired and worn out to enjoy what you have "created."

"Don't sweat the small stuff"--truer words were never spoken for a wedding day.

Wedding facts

I am always intrigued by wedding facts. The industry is a multi-million dollar business, so knowing who is making decisions and what is important is valuable for me to know if I want to stay ahead of the curve.

Here are some facts that I find very interesting:

1. 101, 791 --number of roses in the world's largest bouquet.
2. 62% of U.S. weddings that include a flower girl
3. $202,000 ---cost of the world's most expensive orchid
4. It takes a little over 10,000 rose petals to make a flower aisle runner.
5. The average wedding in the U.S. costs over $28,800!
6. In 2008, couples are expected to spend less on reception entertainment, car rentals and the groom's ring and more on gifts for each other, ceremony decorations and groom accessories.
7. About 500,000 trees every year are used to support weddings in the United States.
8. Some wedding dresses are made out of hemp or bamboo fabric to support a "green earth."
9. Approximately 1.8 million weddings will use the Internet to buy at least one service for their wedding. That translates into roughly 81% of all wedding couples.
10. There is over $57,000,000,000 that is spent on weddings in the U. S. every year.

Kind of makes you wonder about what we are spending our money on and are we really getting the best bang for the buck, especially with the divorce rate over 50%!

Wedding this past weekend

I attended a beautiful wedding yesterday.
The bride wore a beautiful white dress with beading and the cutest little bustle that made her feel like a princess when she walked.

The weather behaved so that we could be outside--no rain and no one needed to wear a heavy parka (although it was slightly cool). White chairs lined up like pristine soldiers waiting for their marching orders; a white aisle runner waiting for a perfect bride and sunshine to bless the day.

Instead of telling you what went wrong, how about telling you what went right: Two people met and fell in love! They scrimped and saved to treat their guests and family to a beautiful day created out of love and friendship. The meal was delicious, the bar hosted, the music fun and lively, and the wedding cake plentiful.

They kissed each other, had smiles on their faces, laughed and thanked their guests for coming and then went off together to start their life together. A pretty amazing day, wouldn't you say?

Stealing is never a good idea

Weddings in Iowa hosted a great Bridal show this past Sunday at the new Jordan Creek Holiday Inn & Suites (love them!). The show was a great success!
As you can probably tell by now, I am pretty passionate about weddings and events and doing things the right way, the first time-every time. I love hosting bridal shows as it brings together vendors and brides together. More knowledge is always good and informed brides make smart decisions, but one of things that I have issue with at shows are camera phones and thievery. It happens at every bridal show and I don't know how to stop it other than carrying a big stick and hiring armed guards (kidding!).

Every time a bride takes a picture of someone's designs or tablescaping, it is theft. While we are flattered that you think enough of our designs to take a picture, please don't, because those are our designs. We have put a lot of time, money and effort into creating those exhibits and for guests to take pictures and then take them to someone else to duplicate, is a crime. Kind of like you coming up with a great idea and then someone else steals it, presents it to the boss, and they get the raise and the accolades; you still pound away in your little cubicle. Not fair is it? It hurts doesn't it? We have the same feelings too.

And by the way, please don't steal things from our tables unless offered. I have a paper stylist who works long hours, has a family to support, and is incredibly talented, but when you take her menus or place cards from the table, she not only has to recreate another one for the next display, but your copyright theft has taken earnings away from her livelihood. I am sure that you wouldn't like that as well, so why think that "she won't mind if I take one little card!" We do mind--a lot!

Please come to the shows, talk to vendors, glean all of the handouts, knowledge and information that you can to make your wedding day as special as possible, but please be respectful. We work hard for you; we would like to be rewarded for our efforts.

Wedding show last Sunday

We hosted a beautiful wedding show last Sunday at the new Holiday Inn & Suites at Jordan Creek. If you have not seen this facility, it is beautiful, but the best way to describe it is in its ambiance. Their designers have done an amazing job of creating a feeling of comfort and hospitality. Brides will have a great reception with not only the food from Johnny's Italian Steak House (Yum!), but the catering staff is right on the ball. A great combination for a memorable event.

Creating memories are important and your venue and staff can really make or break your event. The New Holiday Inn will certainly help your event be a slice of perfection.

Even Wedding Planners have fun!

Meeting brides and hearing about their special day is a great thrill for me. I love all brides and their stories. I may not agree with their philosophies sometimes, but everything romantic and wonderful I totally "get!"

There is no better place to meet brides than at a wedding show. They are excited, open, and seeking. They generally have their mother or friends with them and the excitement and anticipation for their wedding day fills the air.

I am looking forward to the Bridal show this Sunday at the New Holiday Inn on Mills Civic Parkway. I would love to meet every bride that attends and will do my best to greet as many as I can. It will be a beautiful and excitement-rich day filled with dreams and wishes; a place where every bride can dream about her once-in-a-lifetime fairy tale day that holds magic and joy---knowing that somewhere in that vendor-filled room, is a dream just waiting to unfold.


Is it any wonder why I love this job? See you Sunday!

Kindness will take you a long ways

My parents taught me that flies are much more attracted to honey than vinegar. In other words, kindness will get you farther in life than sour dispositions.

Many vendors will often tell me that they have to deal with less than savory couples sometimes. They will make an appointment and not show up; short the check and not pay the balance; belittle them at the wedding reception; and shout and rant over the smallest things.

Many couples will often complain about their vendors. Just going to the Knot will show you that there are a lot of unhappy wedding couples out there. Too late for appointed times of start; not the right product or color; not returning phone calls; bad attitudes and rudeness.

Sounds to me like a case of too much vinegar and not enough honey! Here's a thought---how about treating each other like you would like to be treated? The golden rule is still all of that--a golden rule to live by.

Planning for the big day-getting past page 3!

I met with a client a couple of weeks ago to help her plan her wedding. I have a 30 some page document that I go through with my clients so that I can get to know more about them, their likes and dislikes, what their goals are for their wedding day and what their style is like. I am sad to say that we didn't make it past page 3 when she told me that her main goal of the wedding were the 3 kegs that they had on order with one on reserve. We weren't a good fit and she won't be needing my services.

I met with still another bride that told me her entire goal was to get drunk so that she didn't have to perform her "wifely duties" on her wedding night! Probably too much information gathering there. Again, we didn't make it past page 3.

I met with another couple about a month ago that told me their goal for their wedding was to make sure that they avoided his parents the entire evening and wondered if I could act as a "buffer and diversion" all night. Again, we didn't make it past page 3.

I am going to have to revise my worksheet to exclude page 3!

Busy as always

I have been very busy lately trying to get ready for the upcoming Bridal show next Sunday at the New Holiday Inn and & Suites @ Jordan Creek in West Des Moines. To say that I am excited would be an understatement.

I am excited to be working with the hotel as it is a wonderful company to partner with. If you have ever stayed at a Heart of America hotel or ate at one of their restaurants, then you know that they are excellent both in service and product. The staff is amazing and I am honored to be a part of their success even if it is in a very minute way.

We are trying to get a very special and beautiful backdrop ready for the show, so I have to go shopping (not hard for me!) for fabric to bring the right look to what we want to achieve. I love it when all of the elements of a decorating package come together perfectly. It reminds me that hard work and diligence pay off.

I hope that you will come see the show, if not for the beautiful decorations, just to see the new Holiday Inn. Des Moines constantly and consistently continues to reach for excellence. Is it any wonder why I love this town?

Camera phones at weddings

Technology and advancements are usually a good thing. Having the latest and greatest gadgets are the norm rather than a novelty anymore and learning how to be good stewards of them should be part of the package, but as is so many things in our culture today, people need to be reminded of good manners in social settings.

Taking pictures of the bride walking up the aisle with your camera phone is in bad taste, no matter how beautiful she is. The wedding couple has hired a professional photographer, please let him or her do their job. They shouldn't have to fight over zealous guests for a good shot of the wedding couple. They shouldn't have to stand in line while guests jockey for the best position to take a picture with their new Blackberry.

Have a little common sense, please. If the wedding couple asks you to take some candid shots, great--have fun but be respectful. I have seen more than my fair share of "candids" that are in extremely poor taste and all because the guest thought it was "cute!" It isn't. Remember what you have been invited to---a wedding. Treat it with the respect that it deserves.

Gathering information

As a couple getting married, gathering information to make smart choices for your wedding day can be a task unto itself. How do you know what DJ to choose? What foods do we serve at our wedding? Who do we buy gifts for?

As a planner and an etiquette coach, I try to answer as many questions as I can whenever I can. I attended a lovely gathering last night to where much information was told by the vendors there to the listening guests. I confess that I always enjoy these times because I feel like I am making a difference in their lives for the betterment of their special day.

This is why I hold the Lunch and Learns at the bridal shows that I host.
They are highly energized snippets of information packed into a short amount of time. We talk about etiquette, wedding day dos and don'ts and how to save you thousands of dollars, time and stress.
The vendors and I who talk do so because we love weddings and want everyone to have a perfect day. The next Lunch and Learn is April 20th at the new Holiday Inn & Suites @ Jordan Creek. Come join us and learn how to plan your wedding with grace and dignity, finesse and style.

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 11

By now, you are well on your way to creating a special day to be remembered by all who attend your wedding, including the two of you!
You will be interviewing vendors, choosing colors and flavors, music and food.
You will have opinions from everyone including vendors, friends and family. They will tell you horror stories of their own experiences, what to watch out for and what to go ahead with.
Here are a few things to keep in mind as you plunge ahead with your perfect day:

1. As you get into the thick of planning your wedding, don't forget that it is your wedding day story that you are telling-not someone else's.
2. Keep the end result in mind and try not to get sidetracked by the incidentals. I am not sure how important having live peacocks are to a wedding ceremony if you can't obtain them in your season.
3. Remember why you are getting married. It is your love for each other, the bond that glues you together, the "forever" life that you are creating that is the most important.
4. Keep in mind that how you treat people during the planning of a wedding is just as important as how you will be treating people the day of your wedding.
5. What you do when you think no one is looking defines your character---always opt for the right thing.
6. Make smart choices within your budget---going into debt for one day is never a good idea.
7. Keep in mind that your wedding is only one day---a very special day---but one day nonetheless. "Don't sweat the small stuff."
8. Treat each other with kindness and respect. What you say and feel during the wedding planning process will stay with you for many many years.
9. Treat your guests with dignity and respect and the utmost friendliness and compassion. Your efforts will come back to you fivefold.
10. Treat your wedding day like you will treat your marriage---hold it fast in your heart, keep to the memories, and treasure the time as if it is your very last.

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 10

Even the best of event planners sometimes get caught with the unexpected. Having the ability to think fast and be able to mobilize the troops in a hurry is a knack that the best planners have. But what happens to the couple that doesn't hire a wedding planner? They aren't going to suddenly jump off the altar and chase down a missing DJ. They don't have the time to check the cake delivery to see if their wedding cake is set up right, and they sure don't want to be trying to track down down an extension cord because the caterer's hot box won't work in the space allowed. For all of their earlier planning and dreams, you certainly don't want to see the day go by the wayside because of other's mistakes.

Having one or two people to be your eyes and ears throughout the day is one plan that is a must. This person should not be an immediate family member (they are busy celebrating with you!), but rather a very trusted and responsible individual that has the ability to make decisions very fast. They will have your best interests at heart, representing your visions and desires for the day.
They won't push their own agenda, won't be selfish with their actions, and will care for all of your guests as if they are their very own; in short, a "wedding-day guardian angel."

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 9

After you have determined the budget, the style and the way that you will be presenting yourself at the wedding, the rest is filling in the blanks; details.
Details at an event can make all the difference in the world. You wouldn't think that people would notice a certain votive candle color, or the difference between baby carrots and green beans, but when taken collectively as a whole, the details are what sets your wedding apart from every other event out there. In other words, the details tell your wedding story to your guests.

Planning your wedding should be an adventure. It should not be stressful, but rather a thoughtful process that defines you as a couple. From the invitation style to the color of the handkerchef that sits in the groom's tuxedo pocket, details will help to bring every aspect of your wedding to light. It should all flow together so that at the end of the evening, your guests can say, I had a great time! The wedding was perfect!

Don't be afraid to think outside of the box. If you aren't creative or don't have the time, then enlist the help of someone who is. If you want a certain style or theme at your wedding, then pull all the elements together so that your day reflects your choices. Have fun, but never forget that it takes the two of you to make the marriage--so tell both sides of the story!

I will be on the road for the next few days, so may not be able to get to my computer in a timely manner. If you have questions about your own perfect day, I would love to hear them and will try to answer them when I return.
Weddings are beautiful, wonderful ways to start your lives together, whether in front of a justice of the peace, or in a lavish ballroom setting. Whatever your style, always know that your love for each other should spill over to your guests, family and friends. If you will keep them in the forefront of your planning, you will plan the perfect wedding!

Planning the Perfect Wedding, Part 8

Planning a wedding or any type of event takes careful thoughts, planning and execution. You don't want to leave anything to the last minute or to chance when you are responsible for so many people's well being and happiness.

Taking some time to think about your guests is a must when planning the perfect event. If you were attending your own event, how would you want to be treated?
Would you want people to greet you at the door, or leave you to your own devices?
Wouldn't you like to sit down to beautiful decorations and a delicious meal? Wouldn't you like to hear soothing music in the background and then maybe get in a dance or two?
Would you love it if someone offered you a drink without asking you to open up your wallet?
And wouldn't you like to be thanked for coming to the event; made to feel that your presence there really did make a difference in the host's lives?

Sounds like the perfect event, doesn't it? You are almost guaranteed a good time. Then why don't you think your guests want the same thing when they come to your wedding?