Keeping your private life private

Many times, the role of a Wedding Planner is also "Counselor, Babysitter, good Listener, Peace-Keeper."
I can't begin to tell you the number of times that I have had to come between family members, call off fights, listen to sob stories, etc.
For the most part, I really don't mind and know that it goes with the job, but there are some times when you really need to understand that your private life should be kept private and not aired in public.

For instance; your guests really don't need to know that you can't stand your brother's college buddy. Just be a gracious host and not throw a drink in his face and the first body slam when he tried to hug the bride.

Try not to yell at the busboy in front of your 175 guests because he dropped a fork on the floor when he has 10 plates in his hands because you demanded he take "just one more."

If your cousin twice removed shows up to your reception, please don't yell into the microphone about his drunken escapades at your house last Christmas. Be a gracious host and ask him quietly and privately to leave or you will need to call security. I have had to do this numerous times and not one guest ever knew of the situation.

Most issues at any event can be taken care of privately and discreetly and in complete control of the situation, not shamelessly hauled out for public viewing.
At a wedding, everyone is equal, so if you have an issue with your father's new wife, your brother's weird girlfriend, or your cousin with the red and orange hair, either be a gracious and polite host and welcome them with a smile and a handshake or don't invite them in the first place. You can rant and rave the next day--today is your wedding day!

Simple Courtesies

I hear this from brides and their families a lot more than I should, “Our ________________ vendor (you can fill in the blank with a certain vendor or service that you know) is so rude to us, but we don’t know what to do about it.”
My advice is always the same, just say NO! Fire them like you would a bad employee stealing money from you.
There is so much competition out there, why would you put up with lousy service from someone who obviously doesn’t want or need your business that bad to give you the common courtesy of niceness?

Many vendors need to take a refresher course in how to be nice---a very simple trait that we all should practice but seem to have left by the wayside. The competition in the wedding business is stiff. Why would you want to risk your business reputation on a rude behavior? Would someone tell me why, because my brain doesn’t process why you would want to upset your clients? They have mouths and friends. Need I say more?

If we all started to treat each other like we would like to be treated ourselves, people would soon realize that their behavior is not only hurtful, but down right nasty. I have no problem helping my clients avoid the unsavory vendors. If a vendor has been unduly rude to me, that it is usually a good indication of how you will treat my clients. So why would I recommend you?

Simple courtesies, a smile and an encouraging word go a long way towards the success of all of us.

Celebration of events

I met with three brides yesterday and one mom planning her son’s high school graduation.
All in all, it was a great day. I love meeting people and hearing about their events; exchanging ideas back and forth and learning about their lives. I have a 31 page worksheet that I go through with many of my clients, especially the wedding couples; the more that I learn about their lives and visions, the better that I can help them plan a beautiful event that reflects their styles and passions.

A wedding is a celebration of two lives coming together. Telling your wedding story to your guests is important. It sets the tone for the day, excites your guests, involves them, and makes your lives more personable.
Let’s be honest, marriage is tough enough, so having the support and love from friends and family helps couples achieve success more than when they go it alone.
A celebration of your love is a great basis for a wedding reception, so tell your story! Let your guests fall in love with you as you have with each other. Treat your guests as the treasured people that they are and watch them return the feeling back to you.
Make sure that your guests have a great time at your event---after all, you are the hosts! How do you want your day to be remembered?

If you would like to receive help for your wedding, please give me a call. My goal is for all wedding couples to have a perfect day filled with love and romance and memories. After all, your wedding day is not a do-over and when the DJ finally shuts down the music, the real work begins!

A gracious host at any function

I do a tremendous amount of reading for my work. I am always trying to stay on top of the greatest wedding trends, etiquette procedures and newest styles to help my brides and clients make informed and good decisions based on their budgets and styles.

I have learned one thing as I am reading, taking classes and listening to other professionals in the business: a good host is a must for a successful party in any social class or function. What does it take to make a good host? 5 steps will ensure your party is a hit and talked about with the fondest feelings the next day:

1. Be an example of good etiquette for your guests.
2. Your mood will set the tone of the event. If you are anxious and unsure, then you can bet that your guests will be too. If you are relaxed, cheerful, interested and having a good time your guests will as well.
3. Always entertain within your means. Guests come to your event to enjoy one another's company.
4. Treat your guests as you would like to be treated at an event. In other words, would you like to be a guest at your own wedding?
5. Your guests' comfort always comes first. If in question, read rules #1-#4 above and repeat as often as needed for a great event.

Not very appreciative

As part of giving back to the community I often times will give away my services; to lucky brides at bridal shows, to non-profits for fund-raising, or to other organizations for various purposes. I feel very blessed with the knowledge and experiences that I have had and love to share that with others so giving back is a way of contribution for the many times a community has been so good to me.
It is to this end that I am often taken back slightly when many recipients of these services turn them down with nary a thought as to the whole package they have actually won.
Case in point; my services where won by a bride not long ago in a monthly give-away. I gave a fairly substantial gift of over $2500 worth of services, including unlimited phone and email help, personal consultations and day of service. Day of Service means that I will personally go the day of her wedding to make sure that everything runs smoothly, making sure that her friends and family can enjoy the day and not worry about lost or late vendors and dealing with any issues that arise throughout the day (and we all know that issues do arise with events).
All of the services that I mentioned are of no cost to her at all. I have even been known to bring many items with me to the wedding (at my expense)to help along the way---an emergency wedding day kit: candles, lighters, etc.; anything to help the day be as perfect as possible.What was her response to all of this? No thank you! She indicated to me that she had all of "this" done already. I didn't even get a chance to ask if she already had a person (I pray that it is not her mother) perfecting her Day Of, before she hung up the phone---just like that; no conversation, no word exchanges, just a click of the phone.
I should be offended and extreemely surprised, but unfortunately, I am not. This happens all the time. I give away at least 20 of these packages a year and I may only get 2 brides that take advantage of them. It is a shame, isn't it?
Are we as a society so immersed in ourselves that we can't appreciate outside help or expertise when offered? If I had the chance to have an expert help me for a while on fine-tuning one of my events or learning something new, I would jump on the opportunity! I am always so thrilled when one of my mentors---a very wise woman who runs a successful production company in the Midwest---offers her knowledge to me. You can be sure that I listen!
As I see it, brides, when confronted with these no-cost to them prize packages are offered, they have two choices: accept them with a graciousness and glean everything they can for their special day, or turn it down and take pot luck on your wedding day. My choice? Take the opportunity and run with it! I would not leave to chance one of the most important days of my life. Besides, am I going to want to get down from the altar while pronouncing my vows to make a phone call to find a late caterer?

Bridal Gown buyers beware

I had a bride call me in tears a couple of days ago. Bless her heart, she just returned from a trip to her bridal gown store. She had called to see if she had any recourse against very pushy sales ladies and their unfair practices. After I listened to the issues, I had to reassure her that she was doing everything she could and if she wanted the dress returned to her, she would have to play by their rules for just a couple more weeks. Unfortunately, they were holding the upper hand for the moment.

It makes me very sad when I hear brides in tears, especially over their bridal gowns. A bride's gown is very important to her. It is the one formal gown she is ever likely to purchase with the symbolic nature that a wedding gown carries. She has dreamt about it while parading down grassy paths with a towel wrapped around her neck as a child. She has poured over books and pictures to ooh and awe over just the right one for her special day, and then to have her dreams trampled on by sales associates that don't care just plain hurts.

When a bride tries on a wedding dress she not only has to be savvy about her body type and what looks best on her, but she also has to be smart business woman. This is a large purchase that will be worn for very few hours, so the purchase must be smart, make sense AND appeal to the emotional; a rough business combination for even the most savvy of Wall Street investors!. It takes a good boutique that can fulfill all of those requirements and come out ahead. Unfortunately, there are some shoddy boutiques out there so buyers beware!How can you protect yourself? Here are a few tips for getting the dress that you want in the way that you want it:

1. Shop around. Do your homework. Get referrals and check with the Better Business Bureau if needed. This is not the time to let your heart rule your pocketbook when the boutique shop smells like left overs from three years ago when you walk in.

2. If the shop associate doesn't rise from their chair or come out of their office to greet you with a smile and warm handshake, turn around and walk out. They don't care about you as a client. Plain and simple common sense. If they want your business, they will come to you.

3. Take your time; this is not the time to rush through any decisions. Again, if the shop associate is not focused on you by listening to your requests and asking you questions about your tastes but are trying to push the latest and greatest, turn around and walk away. They don't care about you as a client---you are only a $$ sign in their eyes.

4. Get everything in writing! If they state that they will do something, order something, or alter something---get it in writing. This is a non-negotiable point. Don't let the heat of the moment cloud your better sense. Get it in writing to protect your investment. A handshake is fine, the written word holds up in court.

5. If a boutique or any business for that matter asks you to pay in cash, run away as fast as you can. The old saying that if it smells fishy, it probably is holds quite true here. Any legitimate business is NOT going to demand that you pay in cash for any of their services. If they do---they are cheating someone somewhere and their business practices are not ethical. Again---get it in writing!

Invitation woes

My mom called me the other day to tell me about a wedding invitation that she received in the mail. It was addressed only to Mr. and Mrs. She couldn't believe some of the items that she found so blatantly outstanding that a phone call to me was less than 30 minutes of the mail call! She was deeply offended and hurt, not the thing you want when issuing a wedding invite.

Here are some things that I am pleading with you not to do when you send out invitations: some are easy to remember, some are etiquette issues and all just ask you to use good, common sense.

1. Please find out the proper name spellings. I understand that there is the occasional misspellings and pronunciations, but to really mess up a name that has been in the family for over 30 years is just poor investigation on your part.

2. Please, please, please NO Bridal registry information on the invitation!!! In bold letters, no less was the request right on the invitation that my mother received: WE ARE REGISTERED AT WAL-MART.I wonder how much Wal-Mart paid them for advertising their store for them? Tacky and so etiquette-incorrect that this error is nothing less than just plain wrong.

3. Make sure that your invitation makes sense. "No bikini's" on the invitation is probably not a good thing. A party invitation maybe, but not a wedding invite. The reception is in March and the theme is supposedly a beach theme: "Beach attire" was requested on the invite. March in Nebraska doesn't make me thing of beaches and bikinis, so the invite is a little confusing and not very inviting.

Am I picky? Maybe, but again, this is a wedding, not a beach blanket party as the invite clearly states. If this invite came to them in July, my mom and dad would be all up in smiles and fun, but not in March. And by the by, the invite also instructed by mom and dad to "let the rest of the family know about the reception." If they wanted me to know, they would have sent me an invite. I think I'll decline and let my bathing suit rest for a few more months.

Romance lives on......

Love this couple! Aren't they sweet?

Congrats to Cassandra Hirsbrunner and Michael Faust!

A sapp for Romance

I am a sapp for romance! I guess that is why I make an excellent wedding planner. I love Valentine's Day, weddings, engagements, and soul-searching commitments.
My own guy is a terrific romantic as well: He came home yesterday and promptly got down on one knee to give me the most beautiful custom made forever ring! When I tell you that this is a beautiful ring that is an understatement! A heart shaped vivid blue topaz surrounded by 13 exquisitely round cut diamonds! Now that is romance.

I love the term "Forever!" instead of anything else. No negativity is in our vocabulary. We are committed to whatever comes our way---much like our parents were when they committed to each other years and years ago.

So, Hooray for Valentine's Day---a great day for an anniversary!

Unique Wedding Locations

There are many ways to show your love for each other and your guests. Hosting a unique wedding in an unusual location is one way to bring individuality to your special day.
I had one bride literally mow a place for her wedding in a wild flower field that her friends had planted a few years previously. They gave her permission to mow a small strip and we held the wedding in the open with the birds for witness and the flowers as adornment. It was beautiful!
Another wedding took place on a diving platform in the middle of a lake. The witnesses stood on the lake side and watched while the groom and his bride and the minister paddled out to the platform to conduct the service. No one fell in and the service was uniquely their own.
How about on top of a mountain? I had one bride and groom, their pastor and two attendants hike to the top of a large mountain in Colorado to say their vows. Talk about promising before God and country---It was as bold as bold could be. Again, unique to them. They still celebrate each wedding anniversary by hiking up the mountain to renew their love for each other.
I would love to hear your unique wedding story and place.

Flowers and your wedding

If you are a bride looking for flowers, you know how expensive they can be. A bouquet alone can run you $125.00 -$500 depending on what style, colors and flower types you ask for. Does it really cost that much to throw some flowers together, wrap it up with a ribbon and cut the ends off even? Sad to say, in some cases, yes! Flowers, even wholesale, can be very expensive. Some orchids are $50 a bloom while even hydrangeas, fluffy and gorgeous, can be upwards of $15 a stem. This gets pretty pricey when you place many of them together with roses, peonies, etc.
As to the labor, well....we florists walk a very fine line there. We really can't charge for our labor, but we do have to figure in overhead costs, materials and delivery. Gas is not the same price as it was 3 years ago. Then there is the help that we have to pay to help us arrange your flowers within hours of your event so that they arrive impeccably fresh and beautiful looking.
So, there you have it. Next time a florist hands you a pricing sheet, take a minute a catch your breath and then think about the costs involved for what you are asking for. Maybe the bill isn't quite so high as you originally thought.

the designer wedding show

Our designer wedding show's fashion show is up on our web site now. It is a great preview of this year's show at the Tama Convention Center in Tama.
We had a lot of fun and are excited for the next runway show and when you see the clip, you will be too.

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=861624031028350106&hl=en"

Bridal shops

There have been many Iowa area Bridal Boutiques closing their doors to business. I know of 5 in the last 7-8 months. One by one we are loosing so many of these wonderful stores, especially the ones that believe in customer service.

I guess I am old fashioned, but I still like it when I walk into a store and people know you by your name. They have a smile on their face and chat with you about current events. I like the comfortable feeling; the warm fuzzies, when I step into a familiar space.

Unfortunately, change is inevitable and if stores don't change with the times and their client base, then change will pass them by and pretty soon, it will be stores 6 and 7 that will be closing their doors.

Taking it up a notch

It is the start of spring (I know, it doesn't feel like it!), but in wedding worlds, we are fast underway for the deluge of couples that will pledge their vows to each other this year.

There will be over thousands and thousands of weddings that take place in '08.
How will yours be remembered? Will your guests still talk about it a year after? Two years? Five? Ten? Or will your wedding go down in the cookie-cutter-it-was-the-same-as-the-one-we-went-to-last-week memory bank never to be retrieved again?

Do me a favor...add up your overall wedding spending budget---be very honest with yourself! Now divide your budget by the hours you will spend at your wedding starting with the ceremony and going to the end of the reception. What was the total that you came up with? If you are an average American wedding, the total is somewhere between $4,000 and $5000 an hour. AN HOUR!

So now, let me ask again...How will your guests remember your wedding?
How will you?

Wedding Planning is in full swing

Wedding planning is in full swing for most bridal couples. It is a new month which means a month closer to THE DATE for many couples and their families. What needs to you have to plan for this month?

Do you need to find a venue? A photographer, videographer, a DJ? Maybe you have decided to look for a band for your reception. Where do you look? Who do you call? Maybe you need to find a cake designer that does beautiful cakes that taste good at a price you can afford. Sound like an impossible task? Not so.

Take some time when choosing your vendors. Ask for recommendations from friends, family and co-workers. Word of mouth and personal knowledge is still the best system for weeding out bad businesses. Make an appointment with at least three vendors and then listen carefully to what they tell you. Compare apples to apples to get the entire picture so that you can make a decision that is in YOUR best interest for YOUR event, not the neighbor's down the street. You might be good friends and your cousin has alwasys taken the pictures for all your family's events, but if his pictures aren't really that good, then why take the chance? It is your wedding after all and there are no do-overs. You get one day to make it perfect. Don't leave it to chance.

Choose your wedding vendors carefully to ensure a great wedding day.

Trimming the budget

Here are a few great ways to trim your wedding budget so that you can put your dollars to work where they will really matter.

1. Host only what you can afford for alcohol and have the venue charge you per head, NOT per drink!
2. Skip the Hummer limousine and take your car instead.
3. Skip the pony keg for the trolley, the champagne in the limousine, and the bar hopping before the reception---focus on your guests and the reason that they are waiting for you to arrive!
4. Forget the favors. The only ones who really benefit from these are the janitors who sweep up at night. Giving your guests good food, good entertainment and thanking them for coming is all the memory they will need to speak fondly of your event.
5. Skip the candy buffet. The only real sweet that people need at your reception is your wedding cake.
6. Don't buy the plastic vials of bubbles, confetti, or ringing bells. They are cute, but not necessary. Again, the janitors are reaping the benefits.
7. Don't let your venue charge you for unneccessary items---read the fine print and question everything! Remember---you are writing the checks; that puts you in charge!

Good comments

Not all of the comments that I hear at a wedding are bad. In fact, the majority are good ones; ones that lift the spirit and remind me that there is still romance and grace in what I witness:

1. A bride talking to her mother in the receiving line, "It was so beautiful to see all of those people bowing their heads in prayer for us!"

2. A bride talking to her Matron of Honor, "Thank you for sharing our day with us! Having you here makes it perfect!"

3. A Groom hugging his father right before the ceremony begins, " I love you, Dad, thank you!"

4. A mother talking to her husband during the dance, "I will never forget this day! Thank you, honey!"

5. A flower girl talking to the ring bearer while watching the bride and groom dance at the reception, " You look pretty. Want to dance with me?"

6. And one of my favorites comes from a groom while toasting his bride in front of his reception guests," I am the luckiest man in the world because I have married the most beautiful woman in the world. Thank you for sharing our day with us. We are honored and humbled."

It is enough to make a wedding planner cry!