To do it right

This past weekend, I hosted an event that I really looked forward to along with many other vendors and friends. We worked hard for many months and all sacrificed a day with their families or other work that needed to be done. It seems a shame that the venue that we worked with did not see the importance as we did and as a result, because of their uncaring and uncompromising attitudes, the event was as not as successful as we would have hoped.

This happens many times over and over for brides and grooms at their weddings. Vendors don't care or are uncompromising in their views and practices and as a result, weddings are much less than perfect. If this happened at an event that functioned everyday, then feelings and memories would be very different, but weddings are a one-time affair. The special day does not got a do-over. Once the day is gone, it is gone. Whatever is lost is lost for all time, never to be captured on film for future generations to view.

To me, this is a travesty. It sickens my heart to see vendors and companies not-care, try to make that all-mighty buck, or, worse yet, try to get one up on another vendor and not care who they hurt in the process!

When does the madness stop?

Going the extra mile to make it perfect

I want to share with you some disturbing observations that I witnessed this past weekend at an event that I hosted. I was hurt beyond what I should have been and angered even beyond that point. There are several items of note and it will take me a few days to get through them all.

The first item stands out over all of the rest: Going the extra mile to make it perfect. This weekend, a company that I have worked with for a few months now, had the opportunity to shine far above and beyond what they normally do. They had a captive audience and could have really shown what they were capable of as well as what excellent client care really means. Instead, they took the low road and showed their true character---mean, spiteful and uncaring. It is a shame as this is a highly visible company that can really make a difference in Des Moines. They have the means and the opportunities, but time after time, refuse to step up to the plate.

If I sound disgruntled, it is because I am. But it isn't just me that has witnessed their mean and uncaring nature. I have had several people since this event call or email me their concerns about this company and the nightmares that they themselves have had to go through. My question is then: Why? Why are we putting up with it? Why allow them to get by with less than stellar activity? Why not voice our opinions and say enough is enough?

I will not and cannot actively refer my clients to this venue as long as this particular business continues to pull the shenanigans that it does. Not only did they insult the integrity of the event, but they insulted vendors, attendees, on-lookers, and close friends. They even had the audacity to try and pull off something that is against state law until I caught them at it, called them on it, and made them change. Of course, they will tell you that they asked me to guarantee a certain number of attendees. I did up to a point and then told them that I would have walk-ins beyond that, so please prepare. Their response? We cannot! Not: we will try to work with you, we will see what we can do, etc......, it was just an emphatic NO! If I were asking them to do this all of the time, I could see their point and sympathize with them as well as get my act a bit more together, but these were circumstances beyond my control and I really did ask them to work with me, not against me. Their response? NO!
Turning away prospective clients when this company could have really stepped up to the plate to outshine all competition, just stymies me as to why they would act this way. Why not go the extra mile? What or who would it have hurt for that day? Why don't companies want your business?

I sound awful and really don't mean to be. But I am at the point that if bad vendors continue to run their companies in unethical ways, then as a servant of my clients, I feel that I have a moral obligation to let them know just what they run into when they hire certain vendors. Caveat emptor!

The Perfect Wedding

I had the privilege of working with the perfect wedding this past weekend.
The bride was an absolute sweetheart, the groom in love with his bride and the family all adorable. The venue was the Coralville Marriott and they were certainly on top of everything. I had time to enjoy dinner at this event; that rarely ever happens!

So what made this wedding so perfect?
Well, the fact that the bride was gracious and kind certainly helped.
The fact that the groom is in love with his bride and trusted her to plan a beautiful wedding helped.
Both families got along, were kind and friendly; not bossy or commanding in the least, not to mention very appreciative of everything certainly went a long way to making my job easier.
The fact that the venue was on top of everything at the precise hour, had impeccable service, was friendly and nice, was helpful and accommodating, and was expert and professional in everything they did certainly made for an enjoyable evening for all.

I spite of all that I mentioned above, these facts alone did not make for a perfect wedding. So what did?

The fact that the bride and groom took each other by the hand and visited with each and every guest as they went to each table to have their picture taken with all of their guests makes this one the perfect wedding. Can you just imagine how each guest felt that they were individually thanked for coming and then asked to take their picture with the bride and groom. WOW!

That is the wow factor--the very thing that sets their wedding apart from everyone else's event. The very thing that made each guest go away with love and good feelings in their heart. The very thing that makes each guest feel very close to this couple and will let others know of the wonderful event they attended on Saturday evening.

That is the perfect wedding!

I am Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving and I have much to be thankful for....

No wedding today!
No bridal show today!
No cake to sample, no mints to find, and no caterer to tell me that he forgot the salad plates-again!
No crying flower girls.
No running around the church ring bearers.
No drooping flowers, missing bouquets, or floral arrangements that are three hours late.
No missing photographers or in the way videographers.
No handy guests too drunk to care.
No MOG mad because her corsage is not like the MOB's.
No MOB crying and yelling at the same time.
No fathers pacing the hallway expecting his daughter to bolt out the back door.
No drunk groomsmen; no hung over bridesmaids.
No grooms anxious to watch the football game or at least keep up with the score rather than get married.
No brides wondering if they are making a mistake because the male stripper the night before looked awfully good! (yes, this really did happen)

I have a lot to be thankful for and the best one of all is that I absolutely love my job! I can't think of doing anything else; love to deal with all of the above and then some. Life is great! How about you?

The Language of flowers

If you want to add a touch of symbolism to your wedding, how about letting your flowers speak for you? Below are some meanings that flowers have. The Victorians spoke volumes through flowers and gestures; it is a shame that we have lost some of that art today.


Ambrosia Love Returned
Anemone Expectation
Apple Blossoms Hope, Good fortune
Better things to come
Baby’s Breath Pure Heart, Innocence
Bluebell Constancy
Blue Violet Faithfulness
Calla Lily Beauty
Camellia Loveliness, Gratitude
Daffodil Regard, Joy
Dahlia Forever yours
Daisy Innocence, Gentleness
Forget-me-not Remembrance, True Love
Freesia Innocence
Gardenia Purity, Your Lovely, Joy
Heather Future Fortune
Heliotrope Devotion, Faithfulness
Hyacinth Loveliness
Hydrangea Understanding
Iris Warmth of affection
Ivy Fidelity
Lilac First Love
Lilac (white) Youthful Innocence
Lily Majesty
Lily of the Valley Happiness
Magnolia Sweetness, Dignity, Splendid beauty
Orange Blossom Purity, Virginity
Orchid Rare Beauty, Love, You flatter me
Queen Anne’s Lace Trust
Stephanotis Marital happiness
Tulip Perfect Lover, Passion, Love
Violet Modesty, Faithfulness
Water Lily Purity of Heart
Zinnia Affection

Roses All roses symbolize love, but their colors have special meanings.

Coral Rose Desire
Cream Rose Thoughtfulness, Charm, Graciousness
Peach Rose Modesty
Pink Rose Friendship, Happiness, Gratitude, Appreciation,
Admiration
Pink Rose (Pale) Grace
Pink Rose (Dark) Thankfulness
Orange Rose Admiration, Fascination, Enthusiasm, Desire
Red Rose Love, Passion, Respect, Courage
Red Rosebud Pure & Lovely
Red & White Rose together Unity
Tea Rose I’ll always remember
Yellow Rose Joy, Friendship, Freedom
White Rose Innocence, Purity, Secrecy, Reverence

Giving it away

I will be hosting a beautiful bridal show this coming Sunday at the Iowa Events Center. We have a Lunch & Learn with mini seminars in addition to a charming vendor and bridal gown trunk show. I held a similar show in June at the Botanical Center. It was well attended and gave the brides and their guests lots of food for thought as far as their wedding planning goes.

As part of my business, I give away thousands of dollars worth of deep discounts for wedding planning and decorating services. I do find it odd that not one bride from the June show has yet to redeem her discounted certificate.
What this actually means is that most brides and their families will ultimately do their wedding themselves without the aid of a professional wedding planner.

In other words, the bride will stress out on her special day, the groom will be frustrated, the Mother of the Bride can't wait until the day is over, and the Father of the Bride is glad that his other children are boys!

For the price of less than 19 weeks of double latte cappuccinos, the wedding couple and their families could have the WOW factor; a day of laughter and love; and their wedding day stress free to enjoy for a lifetime of memories.
Priorities. This is your first party that you are hosting as man and wife. How will your guests remember your generosity, attention to detail and their comfort? You are hosting a party---the start of your lives together--a celebration like no other (you are not like other couples), why aren't you protecting your investment?

Invitation & Stationary Facts and Ideas

Invitations can set the tone for your wedding. They impart a sense of what your guests can expect when they attend your special day. So make sure to choose your invitations wisely. You don't want to use a black tie embossed invite to a hoe-down picnic. Your guests would certainly be confused! Here are other helpful hints:

– Your invitations need to be in the mail 2 months before your wedding date.

– Don’t send your invitations out on a rainy day, especially if you plan to use a public mailbox. All the rain and moisture may damage the paper and cause the ink to run.

– Spritz your invitations with a fragrance to evoke the mood of your wedding.

– Make sure to weigh a sample invitation before mailing them out so that they have the proper postage.

– Your invitations set the tone for your wedding. They do not have to be expensive, just well thought out. Start with a style, theme, and color and then carry that feeling throughout your entire wedding.

– Make sure that your invitations are worded properly. Etiquette is still very much a part of weddings. If you or your stationer is unsure of the proper way your invitation should be worded, please consult your wedding planner for the correct wording.

Travel Essentials

Here are some facts & ideas to help you enjoy your honeymoon travel plans:

– If you are changing your name, make your flight reservation and apply for your passport with your maiden name. They must match, and you can amend your passport later.
– Don’t plan anything too taxing the first few days of your trip. You will be surprised how exhausted you’ll be post-wedding. Take some time to enjoy being Mr. & Mrs.!
– While making reservations before and during the trip, make sure everyone knows that you are newlyweds. You never know what complimentary services you will receive.
– Buy film and batteries for your camera and a blank book to use as a journal. If you are going abroad, buy an electrical adapter, and if you are uncomfortable with foreign currency, buy an exchange-rate calculator.
– Ask your doctor about vaccinations required for your destination. If traveling abroad, ask your doctor for some basic medications, just to be safe.
– Order special meals through airlines, if necessary.
– Book tours, tee times, theater tickets, dinner and other activities that require reservations through your travel agent to be sure that you get the times and dates that you want.
– If you have a pet, don’t forget to make kennel reservations.
– Check all travel plans, tickets, etc. BEFORE leaving the travel agent’s office.
– When purchasing traveler’s checks, copy numbers of the checks in case they are stolen.
– Arrange to have your mail and any periodicals and newspapers held during your honeymoon.
– Ask stores you’ve registered with to hold orders so deliveries don’t pile up on your doorstep, or ask a relative or friend to collect packages.
– Reconfirm all travel plans 3 days before leaving.
– Arrange transportation to and from airports.
– Leave itinerary with a relative in case of emergency.
– Check weather reports for your destination three days before leaving.
– One day before your trip, don’t forget to ready your house—clean out refrigerators, set timers, etc.

Making it Special

For the next few days, I will be blogging about something near and dear to my heart when it come to weddings: Special Touches.
It is in the details and the special ways that you present your wedding to your guests that set you apart from every other wedding event out there. Attention to feelings and things that will make a big impact, will ensure you a day to remember.

Let's start with the Groom's Cake. This cake is becoming increasingly more fashionable to have at your rehearsal or reception. Here is a bit of lore and history surrounding this time old tradition:

Early American wedding cakes were fruitcakes, a tradition that the Pilgrims brought to America in the 17th century. It wasn’t until the 1800s with the advent of white flour, baking powder and baking soda that the white wedding cake as we know it, came to be.

The traditional fruitcake, has withstood the test of time. In fact, it’s this cake that evolved into the groom’s cake. At the reception, it was traditionally cut, boxed and given as favors to the guests.

Legend has it that single guests, who placed the boxed cake under their pillow, would dream of their intended. Hence, it became known as dreaming bread.

Traditionally, the groom’s cake is placed beside the bride’s and today it may come in any flavor or shape that the groom desires.

Why not add this wonderful element to your event by surprising your groom with his favorite sporting team, hobby, or vehicle. If your groom is a stockbroker, then a ticker tape shaped cake would be fun. Be creative and have fun. Isn't that what the wedding is about?

The Wedding Cake

Your wedding cake is a beautiful piece of art work. Why are you putting it in the corner? Many reception venues often place the cake table in a corner of the room. Why?

If the wedding couple is spending hundreds of dollars on their cake (most cakes do cost hundreds of dollars), then why wouldn't you want to display this beautiful dessert in the middle of the room where everyone can see it? If you went to an Art Gallery and spent hundreds of dollars on a piece of art, you wouldn't hide it in your house, would you? No, you would display it out proudly and call every one's attention to it when they came to visit you. So should be the same for your wedding cake.

Not only is it the dinner's sweet ending, but it symbolizes the beginning of setting up a household between man and wife; the woman serving the man and vice versa. It is rich in tradition and heritage. It is a wedding staple that brings order and richness to a wonderful day. Your parents cut their cake; their parents did it before them just as did your great-grandparents. It is something that everyone looks forward to at the end of a meal and marks the beginning of a life together.

Cutting the cake is so much more at your wedding than just a formation of flour, sugar and eggs. It is a tradition that goes back beyond in centuries of love and families.

The tradition began in ancient Rome. During the wedding ceremony the bride and groom were fed morsels of a wheat biscuit or roll. Symbolizing fertility, the biscuit was then crumbled over the bride’s head. The concept caught on, passed through the centuries, and was adopted by various cultures of the Western world. By the time it reached Elizabethan England, the wheat cake, a symbol of sharing and fertility had become more than just tradition. The Elizabethans stacked the rolls high and placed them on their reception tables as centerpieces, for all their guests to admire and enjoy.

But it took the pastry-loving French to envision that those simple wheat biscuit centerpieces could be held together with sugar frosting. The French turned the wheat rolls into fine-textured cream-filled puffs, stacking them high while holding them in place with sticky, sweet caramel. Later, they used the heavenly wispiness of spun sugar to decorate the golden pastries.

The wedding cake embodies a sense of history, of happiness, fertility, plenty and good luck. It is tradition; give it the respect it deserves.

Don't forget the children

Children can be an important part of your wedding. But unless you have a structured plan for them in your ceremony and reception sometimes what seemed like a good idea is now chaos.

Here are a few suggestions for having children at your ceremony and / or reception:

Give them a place of their own. Children are children. They are not adults, so we cannot expect them to sit still or pay attention as long as we do. They may need a place to unwind, use the facilities, or a play space. Make sure it is stocked with videos, games, toys, and books. A place for diaper emergencies is appreciated and make sure that you provide adult supervision.

Give children their own menu. Sometimes adult fare is not to a child’s liking. Ask your caterer to provide some children favorite foods at your reception.

Include children into your special day:

Readings at your ceremony and / or reception
Playing musical instruments or singing
Taking gifts from guests to the gift table
Passing out programs
Train bearers
Candle lighters
After the ceremony, children can pass out birdseed or rose petals
Let the children take pictures at your reception with disposable cameras. Their candids may be the most endearing.
Let them pass out favors to your guests at the reception

Making it easy

Always thinking of the comfort of your guests is a good way to ensure a beautiful and successful wedding celebration.

Most wedding reception times take place during a normal meal hour. Your guests will undoubtedly be hungry after the ceremony. Greeting your guests at the reception site with a drink and light hor d`oeurves is a wonderful way to make them feel pampered and well-taken care of not to mention staving off hunger pangs until their meal is served. Perhaps cheese and fruit platters? You could have the DJ or a pianist playing soft music to greet the guests as well. Who would dare to complain that their meal is late when their needs have been thought of?
Sparkling cider with a strawberry in the bottom of the glass is an elegant and wonderful way to greet your guests. This eliminates the need for a non-alcoholic drink for those who do not imbibe.
The reason for the reception is to celebrate the ceremony that your guests just had witness to. This is your first party together as man and wife. You want it to be a very memorable event; after all, you are the host and hostess! The comfort and enjoyment of your guests should be the most important thing when you are planning your reception.
You may want to make sure that both of the restrooms at your reception venue are well stocked with breath mints, combs, and Kleenex. For the ladies’ restroom, you may want to add hairspray, bobby pins, tampons, and a lighted mirror. Elegance is a state of mind, so your mind set should be that you want everything to go as smooth as possible and for everyone to enjoy themselves until the wee hours!
If your reception will continue on past 11 pm, you may want to consider some light snacks for those late party revelers.

I am sure that you will think of some creature comforts for your guests as well. Don't be afraid to think out of the box if it means that your guests go away happy and thinking that you threw a wonderful party!

Commitment

One of the surprising and very concerning things I am noticing lately is the lack of commitment from people. Be it brides or vendors, the lack or the not-caring attitude is really starting to wear thin.

I will have brides sign up for bridal shows and then not show up; pay for their tickets, but then not come to the event; call for an appointment, then pass on by and not even call to apologize or reschedule. If you have changed your mind, call and tell us; we can handle it!

No wonder so many marriages fail! Folks, if we can't commit to a simple appointment, what happens when the party and the honeymoon are over? That is when the real work begins. A very wise individual told me, "If the task doesn't get them, the daily grind will!" That is so true.

It is downright rude to tell someone that you will show up at 12:30 and take pictures, and then not show up until 2:05 just as the bride is walking up the aisle! Where are all of the before pictures? The pictures of the couple getting ready, talking to Mom and Dad, or the flower girl's little dance as she twirls for the bride in her little girl's dress? Where is the commitment to the contract that you signed?

Brides, if you have called for an appointment, but then fail to show up, you have not only been rude, but have cost us money, talent and time. We have other things to do besides stand around and grow angry over your no show. If you tell us you will show up, then show up! Commitment and carry through.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. There is a reason for this saying and it certainly rings true. A promise is a promise is a promise.

Say what you are going to do, then do what you have said. Be a person of good honor, character, and integrity.

Your first party

Planning a wedding ceremony and reception isn’t just about the bride and the groom any longer. You have asked guests to attend whether it is just an intimate gathering of your closest friends and family or you are pulling out all the stops for a huge celebration occasion. Regardless of the
number of guests, you are asking people to travel to your chosen destination and possibly purchase new clothes. Many of these people will
have travel expenses (travel ticket expense, meal, gas, hotel rooms, etc.; in addition they will most likely be bringing a gift for you to celebrate your new life together. You have essentially asked them to do all of this when you sent them an invitation to your celebration event. The question is---- What will you be doing for them?

The main reason for a wedding reception is to celebrate the ceremony that your guests just had witness to. This is your first party together as man and wife. You want it to be a very memorable event; after all, you are the host and hostess! The comfort and enjoyment of your guests should be the most important thing when you are planning your reception. Below, you will find some ideas to help you make sure that your reception is both comfortable and memorable for all that attend. In fact, you will have everything taken care of so well, that you and your fiancé will be a guest at your own party!

More Do's and Don'ts

3. Do give all family members a place of honor at your wedding.

One of the very worst things you can do at your wedding is to invite family members from both sides and then elevate one side over another. Ouch! What kind of message are you sending?
Choosing sides does not make for a harmonious marriage beginning!
If you invite both sets of grandparents and are having your side sit in a place of honor at the reception, then you had better be doing the same for your fiancé’s grandparents. If you order corsages for your family members, his family members receive the same and vice versa. A wedding is not the place to air out your personal vendettas. At a wedding, everyone is equal and needs to be treated as such. This is an occasion for celebration and love; not a staging ground for causing fights and hard feelings.

DO give all family members a place of honor.
DON’T use your wedding to prove a point or air your grudges.


4. Do make a plan

Wedding time lines are perfect un-paid secretaries and necessary for all couples to follow if they want a successful and joyous engagement. Timelines are called that for a reason; they help you note the tasks that need to be done in the allotted time you have for planning your wedding.

Setting up a timeline---a wedding checklist---helps to know what needs to be done when. They are indispensable for reminding you when to book your reception venue, when your tuxedos need to be ordered, and when to give your final head count to the caterer. Set a timeline and follow it to stay on track for the big day.

Don’t forget to be flexible. Change can be good when we embrace it for what it is. You are undoubtedly going to run into obstacles, unrelenting vendors, or some other type of wedding calamity at some point along your wedding planning. Learning to be flexible and going with the flow, will save you much heartache down the road. Who knows, you may end up with something much better!

DO make a plan; know when to follow through and stick to your guns, but know when to back off and accept an alternative.
DON’T be afraid of change.


5. Do enjoy your wedding day!

You have planned for months. Saved every penny you could for your dream wedding. You have worked with vendors, family, and friends. You have had everyone tell you to do it their way, when you just wanted it done your way. You have sat through countless taste-testings, dress fittings, photographer’s picture books, and invitations catalog styles. You had to make sure that the florist ordered enough flowers for your cake, you had to find a way to ask your aunt Betty to please not sing at your wedding, and you have had to shop with your mom more than you ever have before; but you have survived it all. This is your wedding day. Congratulations!

Guess what? This day is not all about you! Oh, the ceremony is---When you are walking up the aisle all eyes will be on you. During the ceremony, every person in the room is listening to you as a couple recite your vows to each other. But the very minute you say I do, turn to face the audience and the minister announces, “I present Mr. and Mrs. .....” that is the moment that the day ceases to be about you!

You have invited guests to witness this perfect day. You have asked them to travel long distances, buy new clothes, pay for hotel rooms, dining out, and bring a wedding gift to your reception. How are you going to treat them? Please treat your guests as the treasured family and friends that they are. Give them a great time. Laugh with them, talk to them, dance with them. Don’t send them home wondering why they came; do send them home with joyous and warm memories of the very best party they have ever attended.

This is your first party as man and wife that you are hosting. Don’t you want it to be a memorable one?

DO have a great wedding!
DON’T forget about your guests!

Weddings Do's and Don'ts

1. Do set a budget.

Weddings are expensive! There are wedding clothes to buy, food to have catered, a reception venue to rent, photography and music to purchase, a videographer to hire, and all sorts of odds and ends that soon eat into your finances. Pretty soon you’re wondering if there will ever be an end to the demands on your checkbook!

Sitting down at the beginning of your wedding planning and making a budget is important, but sticking to your budget throughout the planning months is the smartest thing you can do!

Are the plastic vials of bubbles worth it when you have to cut back on your food choices for your guests? Making wise and realistic choices for your wedding ceremony and reception is very important to the overall success of your wedding.

DO set a realistic and workable wedding budget early on.
DON’T go into debt! Starting your marriage with thousands of dollars in credit card bills is not a great way to marriage harmony!


2. Do keep the marriage and reasons for your wedding in mind.

Why are you getting married? There could be a variety of reasons, but I think that most of you will agree that you are getting married because you love each other. Can’t live without the other; want to spend the rest of your life with that one special person; they are wonderful; perfect for you; cute and handsome; pretty and smart; beautiful and talented; I could go on and on.
You have found your soul-mate!
Would your soul mate swear at you for forgetting to call the linen colors in three minutes ago?
Would your soul mate throw a tantrum because you ordered peach-colored roses instead of blush, sunset light apricot-color?
Gosh, what happened to the innocent, sweet, wonderful person you asked to be your life partner?
Weddings have a way of bringing out the worst in some people. Relatives have been known to sever family relationships because of wedding disagreements; couples have been known to part ways because they saw a side of their intended that they had not seen before.

DO keep your love for each other and why you are actually getting married in the fore front of your mind during the wedding planning process; DON’T buy into all of the hype!