A spectacular wedding

I am in charge of a beautiful wedding this coming weekend. The bridal couple gets it. The bride's family gets it. The groom's mother---may be a little difficult. Luckily, the bride's fiancee is a grand man who loves his bride very much and backs her up. He protects her, sticks up for her, and let's his mother know that there is a new woman in his life.

Not many blogs or etiquette rules are directed towards men. We women tend to be a little more in tune to those types of items and therefore tend to let our men know what is right or what is wrong when it comes to social graces. So it is a wonderful surprise when I come across a man who understand what a wedding is about and the responsibility that he about to undertake by taking a bride.

This groom is a hero already in my books and his fiancee knows that she is indeed a very lucky woman. It will be my pleasure to make sure that the day unfolds exactly as they wish it to. I will keep you posted and let you know the details. It will be spectacular---I promise!

Setting the stage for a wedding

A wedding takes on many forms; formal, traditional, fun, exciting, modern, or eclectic. Whatever your style, make sure that your family and guests are always at the foremost of your plans.

I am always dismayed when a bride tells me that she doesn't need a planner to help her at the wedding because her mother will be there to help. Why does the mother have to do it? Your mom has probably dreamed about you getting married almost as much as you have, so why deprive her of your special day? You honestly feel that it is all right to make her work with the caterer, run after lost or missing vendors, argue with the photographer and make sure that the wedding gets started on time? She is supposed to make sure that everyone has the right flowers, make sure you get dressed, make sure that the cake is set up, and everyone is doing what they were asked to do. By the time she takes her seat, she can't wait until the day is over. She is already tired and the celebrating has even started!

But maybe worse yet is the bride and groom that don't think of the comfort and joy of their guests. Your guests have come to see you get married; joining in your wonderful day with you---what are you doing for them? You asked for the bare minimum on the food buffet so that you could save money to travel to the ceremony in a hummer limousine. You skimped on the DJ so that you could buy that new plasma TV you had your eye on.

I always tell my clients to give their guests good food and music, and they will remember your wedding with the fondest of memories. After dinner and the first dance, take each other by the hand and thank each guest for coming to help you celebrate. Let your guests know how appreciative you are that they took time to come and be with you. Show each other off; be in love, celebrate the day and the vows that you just spoke. Involve the energy of your guests and your wedding will shine far above the rest. After all, your friends and family already love you.
Give them a reason to love you even more.

Labor Day Wedding

I have a wedding next weekend. It promises to be a great event; a true celebration of two people in love. This couple gets what getting married is all about. They are genuine, thoughtful, and totally watching out for ways to bring comfort to their guests. Example: they are putting the seating chart together. They have 33 tables of 12. They have the lovely idea of putting 6 of the bride's side of family with 6 groom's side of the family. What a great idea; letting the families co-mingle at the wedding reception. Creating a coziness that combines instead of divides.

A couple of weeks ago, we were talking about the decorating scheme and the bride suddenly got tears in her eyes. She looked at her mother and very humbly said, "Am I worth all of this?"
Of course! Every bride is worth the fussing and the honors and even more so when they want to incorporate family and friends with their special day.

A couple of weeks ago, I was at another wedding and the couple had several of their friends as readers in their ceremony. It was beautiful. Little pieces of words that told a story to share with their guests. It personalized the service, made the ceremony individual for the couple and brought an entire audience together with a simple prayer.

Weddings are celebrations. They are not a drunken brawl, a "how much money and gifts can I get," type of affair. They are solemn, joyous, beautiful events that are supposed to bring magic into every one's life if even for a few stolen hours. It doesn't matter whether you are in front of a Justice of the Peace or at the swankiest country club ballroom, you are getting married. You are celebrating a life starting together. You are vowing your commitment in front of friends and family. You are worth all that comes with the day and more.

Bridal Registries

I had a bride email me the other day to ask if it was okay to include gift registry information in with the invitations. Apparently Bed, Bath & Beyond is telling their wedding couples that it is all right to include little cards (given to the wedding couple courtesy of Bed, Bath & Beyond) in with your invitations. Since when?

When did it become acceptable to ask your guests for gifts? Not in any etiquette books, classes, literature, or talks have I ever been to is this practice all right to do. NO-NO-NO!
I will repeat it as long as I need to---NO-NO-NO!

It is not okay to ask your guests for gifts, cash cards, money or donations to any household or honeymoon collections or anything of the like. An invitation is just that---an invitation to a celebration. It is not a "Come all and bear a gift" command.

The only one profiting from such a practice is Bed, Bath & Beyond and that is deplorable.
Your guests will undoubtedly bring you a wedding gift, but it will be because they want to give you something, not because they were commanded to by a little card. If you want to get the word out about where you are registered or where donations can be made, then start the grapevine rumor mill through your friends and family--not on an invitation.

Bless the bride's heart---she knew the practice was wrong, but still wanted to double check in case the rules had changed. They haven't. Society (for the most part) still operates under etiquette and social grace. We hang on by a thread sometimes, but still care about what is right and wrong.

Kudos to weddings couples who choose to do the right thing despite what the big box retailers are telling them!

Wedding Stories

Instead of me talking-how about some feedback with your own wedding stories?
It doesn't have to be a bride or groom, how about bridesmaids and groomsmen? Mothers of the bride or groom or guests.
I would love to hear your stories good or bad.

Wedding Salons - Part 4

Not all wedding salons are created equal. Before I talk about the worst of the lot however, please let me tell you that I hear more good stores than bad. Brides from all over Iowa tell me about the amazing friendships and experiences they had when choosing their wedding gown.
One bride formed such a bond with her salon that she invited them all to her wedding!

Unfortunately, there always seems to be one bad apple in the basket to start spoiling the whole bunch. We find sensation in the bad and the horror stories spread like wildfire while the good stories and triumphs go unnoticed. Please note that the boutiques on the web site: www.weddingsiniowa.com have passed the customer service test. These are boutiques that have long-standing accolades over and over again. If a bride complains about a boutique, I will check it out and usually find that it was just a personality or demanding bride issue. Those are unavoidable at times, but the horror stories are indeed horrific....

I had a bride tell me that she and her sister went shopping for her dream dress. She found a beautiful dress and asked to try it on. The saleslady took one look at her at said, "You have too much back fat for that style."

Another bride told me that she went in to try on wedding gowns at a local boutique. The saleslady asked her what size she normally wore. My bride replied and the saleslady said, "There is no way you can wear a size 8! Let's start with a size 16 and go up from there."

Still another bride tells of the time that she picked up her wedding gown a week before her wedding. She asked if she could try on the gown before she left the store. She was assured that it was fine, would fit perfect, and that since it was all bundled up in the garment bag, she shouldn't take it out because it might wrinkle. The bride took her dress home and hung it up waiting for her big day. The wedding day comes, she opens the garment bag to find a dress that is not hers; not her style, not her size, and has a big tear down the front. A frantic call to the boutique finds the owner on vacation, the doors closed and the bride out of luck. I think we all know the lesson for this story.

Wedding Salons - part 3

Many brides tell me that they go searching online for their dream wedding gown. I always ask them why? The answers are varied, as I wrote yesterday, but cost seems to be a prevailing factor. Online gowns can be hundreds of dollars less than local area boutiques. Or are they?

Consider the following bride and her online bridal gown experience:

The bride walked into a local boutique and found a gown that she fell in love with. When she asked the price of the gown, she figured that she could find it for less somewhere else. She copied the manufacturer name and style number of the dress down (A huge no-no! Brides, this is cheating the boutiques and unethical. Do not do this!), then went looking for the same dress on the Internet.

She found her dress for $329.00 less. She is thinking that this is great and is patting herself on the back for outwitting the local boutique and saving money on her gown, so she places the order.
The gown arrived in a torn box, so now she had to have the dress cleaned.
After the cleaners it was on to find a seamstress for the alterations. What she didn't count on was the elaborate bustle and design of the dress or the beading coming loose in shipment. A wedding gown is not something that can be altered on a whim. It must be fitted exactly, fit again and then a final fitting. Reworking beading takes time and talent. Not everyone wants to tackle wedding gown repairs or alterations, especially if the dress was not purchased in their store! They have their own client's gowns to work on. She finally found someone to alter her gown, but now she is down to the final week. Not only is she stressed beyond imagination but she is in a dispute with the online company because they forgot to include the garter and gloves that she was promised.

Total bill with shipping, cleaning, alterations, new garter and gloves: $477.00 Did she save money?

Now, does not happen every time? No, Some girls actually do fine with their online purchases, but I would not chance the most important clothing purchase that you are going to make to an online company that knows you only as a number.
I will take the cheery greetings, customer service, pampering, free alterations and beautiful extras that boutiques love to throw in simply because they like pleasing their clients and want their business. If you are getting married, savor every exquisite detail. You won't get another chance like this again.

Wedding Salons -- part 2

So what really happens when a bride purchases her gown on the Internet? and why would she?

The last question is one that I ask myself over and over. Why would a woman want to buy what is perhaps the single most expensive garment purchase she may ever make in her life with a click of the mouse? The answers are varied:

"I don't have time to shop in every store to look for my dream gown."
"The Internet is more convenient."
"There is more selection."
"The prices are better."
"I can take my time without pushing salespeople bothering me."
"I don't like taking my shoes off!" Yes, I actually had a bride tell me this is the reason that she purchased her gown online.

I am sure that there are more reasons and excuses but it all comes down to the individual and the choices that they make. I will confess that I urge my brides to purchase their dresses locally if at all possible. I ask them to stay away from big box national retail chains and choose a gown that can be selected from a local boutique. Why?

Again the answers are varied, but for me it comes down to customer service. (Now please keep in mind that I am only talking in generic terms as these facts, unfortunately, do not apply to every local boutique out there.) At most boutiques that I visit, I am met with a courteous smile, "Hello, how are you? What can I help you with?" They will ask my wedding date, ask about my styles, what I am looking for in a dress, and colors. They want to get to know as much about me so that the selections that they help me with are good ones. For the most part, these are salespeople that have been in the fashion and fitting industry for quite some time, so they should know what they are doing.

I don't know about you, but I like being greeted at the door, I like knowing that my presence in their store is making a difference, an impact, or is just well noticed in case I have a question. I don't like being ignored. Snobbery? Maybe close to it, but the point is, I like the attention. I like touching the beautiful gowns and feeling the satin slip through my fingers. I like it when the store associates ask me if I would like something to drink then brings me a glass of sparkling champagne. I like help with stubborn hooks and zippers. I like the plush seats and comfy carpets. I like looking in the wide mirrors and hearing, "Oh, my goodness! You like just like a princess!" Let's face it ladies, this may be the only time in our lives that we are going to hear words like this directed just to us---I don't want to miss a single moment of any of it!

I will hear from both side of the fence on this. "I just like to look. I don't like to be bothered. I don't like pushy salespeople trying to cram their style down my throat!" A little extreme maybe, but you get the idea. If this is the case, then the Internet option may be a good one for you, but I doubt it.

For the next couple of days, I will explore a little more in depth why Internet wedding gown shopping is not always the best deal. But until then, most brides want the fussing over so Bridal Boutiques---bring on the champagne and attention!

Wedding Salons

One of the delights of my job is to visit area wedding gown boutiques to keep up on the latest fashions. Looking through rows and rows of beautiful silk and chiffon creations is a treat. I can only imagine what it must feel like to pick and choose from such exquisite gowns knowing that there is one perfect dress out there just waiting to be discovered.
Every style, every color, every pattern, every adornment from beads to lace to feathers.
Silks, satins, chiffon, and more are there for every bride in almost every store.

I have discovered in my travels that every bridal store is an unique as its owner. They strive to carry an inventory that will appeal to even the most discriminating tastes and sizes. Most stores carry a rather large quantity of gowns, flower girl dresses, mother's gowns, bridesmaids dresses, and tuxedos. Then there are the shoes, hair accessories, jewelry, ring bearer pillows, unity candles, invitations, and the list goes on and on. Quite impressive for even the small mom and pop stores as well as the larger more established big-city boutiques. But regardless of the size and location of the store, all bridal inventory is expensive.

Try pricing a wedding gown today and then multiply that cost by 200-300 or more! Add in bridesmaid's dresses, mother's gowns, flower girl clothing, accessories, and pretty soon you get the idea that this business is not cheap! It takes a lot to open a bridal boutique and even more to keep a successful one running. In addition to all of the above, there are operating costs, advertising, alterations, hired help....well, you get the idea.

Bridal Boutiques are in business because their owners love what they do, not because they like loosing money which is precisely what happens every time a girl goes on the Internet to purchase her wedding dress. This is becoming more and more popular among current brides. The reasons why can be varied but the number one reason that I hear over and over again is to save money.

Why brides would even consider purchasing an online bridal gown is beyond me and one that we will explore in upcoming blogs.

What actually happens when you make an online wedding gown purchase?

Taking a step back

Some couples get really hot and heavy into the wedding planning. Everything has to be perfect, not one hair out of place, every action choreographed, and people in perfect step. They come to me frustrated, arguing or fighting over the tiniest of details.

My advice? Take a step back---time out---take a breather. Let's look at the overall picture.
Is it really necessary to make sure that the flower girl is the perfect size? Is it really important that the groomsmen equal the number of bridesmaids? How crucial is it for the napkins to be folded perfectly the same for all 800 guests? Sometimes we get caught up in the smallest of details while overlooking the most important of what we are really trying to accomplish.

I have had several emails from my readers telling me their thoughts about this and
that detail of a wedding. Some of you agree that etiquette is important and rules need to be followed. Other readers say skip the wedding and buy a house! And still others are tired of seeing what wedding hype is doing to a very sacred union.

Maybe it would be a good idea for all of us to take a breather from the hype and commercial and put things in perspective: Two people are getting married and plan on spending the rest of their lives together. How they do this is their journey and story to tell to the world. It is up to us, as their community, to support and nurture their decisions. "What has been joined together, let not man put asunder." We can guide and suggest, teach and nurture, but ultimately, the rest is up to them.

Proper Etiquette

It is surprising how many etiquette questions I am asked and then berated for the answers.
I don't make up the answers, couples, I am just following the rules. Can the rules be broken? Yes, but know what they are first before you break them. Then, at least, you are breaking them with good intentions and not out of ignorance.

Case in point---many couples ask me if it is alright to exclude a significant other on an invitation if they don't like each other or the guest list is getting too long. The correct answer? No.
It is considered in very poor taste and a breach of etiquette to invite one half of a couple and not the other, no matter how much you may not get along or need to cut the guest list. You can cut Aunt Emma that you haven't seen or heard from in over 6 years, but not the significant other of your mother, even if he might be of questionable character.

If the couple is living together or has significant history together (meaning an exclusive relationship for a year), then they should be invited and included on the invitation. If they have just met, are not co-habitating, not engaged or have history under a year together, then, yes, you don't have to include them. But be prepared for the inevitable "may I invite a guest?" question that is sure to come.

Knowing the rules is important. Breaking them is your call. Just make sure that the reason you are breaking etiquette rules is out of necessity and not spite. A wedding celebration is no place
to air grievances, start a battle ground, or prove that you are superior.

Still no wedding planners

I have many brides and grooms that tell me they don't need a wedding planner:
"I can do it myself."
"My aunt is helping us."
"My mom can do it."
"I can't afford to hire a planner."
"I am afraid she will take over and the wedding won't 'look' like us!"
The list does on indefinitely.

I am here to answer some of the above comments.

Yes, you could do it yourself, but why? You don't try to fix your own car when the engine light comes on because you know that you are not a professional mechanic who has studied up on your type of engine. Then unless you plan parties of all types and sizes for a living, why would you attempt to put together a wedding for 350 people and still be stress-free on the big day?


You are very fortunate to have an Aunt that is so creative, but again, does your Aunt do this for a living? Does she know how to deal with a late caterer or one that forgot the dessert plates? Does she know how to bustle a dress, sew a ripped seam in the bridesmaid dress, break up fights between bestmen, is she going to bus tables if there isn't enough help, will she be able to sub as a bartender, and will she mind cleaning up after a sick ring bearer? She is not a guest at your wedding---she is the hired help!

Your mom will do it? Please---don't even get me started on this comment! Your mom is second to be honored at a wedding. How is she being honored when she is stuck in the kitchen washing salad plates for the caterer on YOUR SPECIAL day?

You can't afford NOT to hire a planner. I can usually save my clients enough money in the first hour of talking to them to pay for myself. Good wedding planners are worth their weight in gold because they make your wedding run like clockwork, carry out your wishes and help to create the dream day you have always wanted. They don't want a wedding that reflects them, but rather the one that hired them---the wedding couple. We help to ensure that vendors do what they are hired to do, your guest's comfort needs are seen to, and everybody has a great time at this, the most important day of your life.

Want to make your day special and memorable for everyone? Hire a wedding planner and relax; you are getting married!

The straw poll and weddings

As I mentioned at the end of last week, I worked the Straw Poll in Ames on Saturday.
I have to confess that this was my first straw poll that I worked at let alone attended!
I could give you all sorts of perspectives and stories, but will try to confine it to wedding-related notes and observations. What is really comes down to is an event -is an event-is an event.

What makes a successful event? One word-----planning!

If you don't take the time to plan your event (wedding); figure out itineraries, schedules, vendor arrival times, site logistics, and other related "goodies," then you leave yourself wide open for disaster. Is disaster inevitable if you don't plan wisely, no, not always, but the chances for mishaps are far less when you know ahead of time what to expect.

One of the reasons that I was hired for helping at the Straw Poll is for my attitude. I am known for getting the job done, when it needs to be completed, how it needs to be completed and making sure that everyone else does as well. I watch for vendors, working with them to help them achieve their best potential, watch for my bride and groom (candidate, in this case) and watch over the guests and see to their comfort. Want more voters? Then take care of the ones you have. Want happy wedding guests? Then take care of the ones you invite.

We fed our guests good food, provided them with good entertainment, and saw to their comfort in a 107 Heat Index as best we could in an open tent---policing air conditioning units with an iron glove! In a word---planning! Did it pay off? Our candidate ranked very high, people were happy and having fun, the candidate commented to us about our outstanding work and vendors went away knowing that they were greatly appreciated for their efforts (Famous Dave's was exceptional!).

Planning is important to any successful event. It makes the difference between, "That was okay," to "WOW! that was great!" For me---I like the great part.

All events

A bridal planner is asked to do other events besides weddings from time to time.

I have been asked to do the Straw Poll tomorrow with a good friend of mine; Little Elf Event Producers. Amy has been working long and hard with the candidates to deliver a quality event for them. But like many brides, politicians tend to change their minds as many times as they change their politics.

It should make for an interesting day tomorrow. A good planner is ready for all possible actions and even for the ones not thought of yet. We are called on to improvise, punt when needed, and often asked to pull off miracles with no more than a rubberband and a pen. A kind a "McGiver" attitude.

It will be interesting because it really will be no different than a wedding. Manage people---manage time. A piece of cake! Manage a politician? Should be a very interesting day!

Bad dress shops

You just got engaged. Congratulations! What is the first thing you want to do? Go shopping for a dress. You can't wait to find the perfect dress. Even brides who are strictly jeans and a t-shirt type can't wait to shop for their wedding dress. Some have the perfect idea of how their dream bridal gown should look, others haven't got a clue. This is where you are relying on finding the perfect shop for that perfect dress.

I am here to say that you need to kiss a lot of toads before finding your prince, and the same holds true for finding the perfect wedding dress. You need to try on lots of gowns to find the one that makes you feel like you are the most perfect and beautiful woman in the entire world. And to try on lots of gowns, you will need to visit lots of shops.

Bridal shops are not all created equal. There are small boutiques and large shops. Mom and Pop businesses and national store chains. Some stores carry exclusive lines only to them, some can get anything you want shipped in and still others opt for a more customized approach by making your gown only for you---a one of a kind creation. Whatever style, color, and material you choose please choose a store that cares about you. You will not be sorry.

You want to shop at boutiques that cater to you; bring you something to drink; ask your opinions and listen to them; help you in and out of the dresses; don't run to answer the phone leaving you unattended; offer to alter any part of the dress that needs taking in (or out); and generally makes you feel very welcomed and special. If they don't ask your name, ask if you getting married or make you feel welcome after 30 seconds of entering their store, then they are not the store for you.

I recently visited such a business a couple of days ago. I had 20 minutes between appointments and decided to visit a very well-known bridal store in Des Moines. Many of my brides get their gowns from this establishment so I decided to find out what the hoopla was about.
Maybe I looked too old to be getting married (I'm not) or maybe it was because I didn't have a ring on (it could have been at the jewelers getting cleaned), but I could have been a gnat for all this store cared. Nothing--nada, no greeting or anything. I walked around the store very slowly, looked through dresses and jewelry, feigned interest in a pair of shoes (that's not hard for me), and glanced through a leaflet on one of the side tables. I even held a dress up to me in the mirror. Nothing. After 15 minutes, I left.

Gosh, they must have been awful busy. I was the only customer in the store (not kidding).
Maybe they had bookwork to do. If talking on the cell phone is bookwork, then I'll buy that.
They didn't want to pressure you. Saying "hello" doesn't threaten me, nor make me want to flee in a panic.

No, they just plain ignored me and I walked out. I will grant you, I could have asked for help, but why should I? If they don't want my business enough to ask me my name or at least give me a courtesy greeting, then they don't deserve my business. Give me a flash of smile and genuine interest in my visit and that store will get my business every time.

Boutique owners, don't complain to me about not getting any business if you can't be bothered to say hello to each and every person that walks through your door. If Quick Trip can do it---so can you!

Flowers

The two weddings that were held this past weekend had fresh flowers as their bouquets.
A word of wisdom to brides---never have faux flowers for your wedding bouquet. These flowers will be in your pictures forever, so you want the memories to be good ones.

There is something magical about the first moment that a bride sees her wedding bouquet on her special day. It can bring tears of joy or very unhappy moments. For the first wedding this weekend, when the bride saw her bouquet her initial reaction was one of stun---they were not the flowers that she ordered. The bouquet was nice enough and for another bride it would have been perfect, but for this bride, her bouquet was not perfect---just okay. I was sad for her.
Was it a case of wrong flowers ordered, miscommunication between florist and bride, or just a poor substitution for a quick fix?

Whatever the reason, brides please take a picture with you when you visit with the florist. She cannot read your mind. If you have a picture of something that you like, then that gives us a very clear picture of what you have in mind. We really do want to please you (Most florists really do!) so any help that you can give us is greatly appreciated.

The second bride's bouquet was perfect! Absolutely stunning and exactly what the bride had asked for. We worked for several weeks with the florist and chose every color and flower, so there were no unhappy surprises on this bride's big day---only tears of joy and a mound of beauty for her to carry down the aisle.

Colors and receptions

Many times I ask a bride what her colors are for her wedding. She will tell me this color and that color scheme but when I ask her what colors are in the reception venue, she doesn't have a clue. It is very important to try and coordinate your wedding colors to your reception venue. If the ballroom's carpet is navy blue and the walls white, then unless you are getting married on the Fourth of July, stay away from red as your primary wedding color choice.

Your guests will be at the reception portion of your wedding for most of your event. It is very important that your color scheme coordinates with the space so that you create a harmonious feel to your wedding celebration. If you work with your venue colors, you have less decorating to do instead of fighting against and trying to mask what you want covered because it doesn't match your bridesmaid's dresses.

Take inspiration from the architectural elements in the room, the lighting, the floor texture, the whiteness of a tent wall and ceiling. At last Sunday's wedding, our inspiration for the room decorating were the large expanse of windows, patio brick and grids in the ceiling. The color came from the flowers and the linens. The room flowed together to become a work of art. By working with the colors and textures of the building, we created a very elegant and classy event that will be talked about for many months to come.

A double weekend

I had two weddings this weekend, back to back; both with Day of Service and decorating.
A word to the wise, DO NOT plan two weddings in one weekend unless you are very organized, patient and have lots of ibuprofen (lucky for me I have all 3!)!

I am tired, have aching muscles, and am certifiably brain dead, but I had a great time, got rave reviews, and learned a lot more about people and events. I will be sharing a few tidbits this week with you, but for now, here are some starters:

1. There are nice people in this world.
My first wedding was every planners dream---great family, unfussy bride, pay attention attendants and an officiant that is great fun to work with. Literally a piece of cake. There are always the usual glitches---uncooperative weather, steps to climb up and down, watching for party revelers that are a bit too much, and general oversee. When it came time to clean-up, I usually get stuck with the KP duty even if I am not hired for that. Not so with this wedding. The mother of the bride saw me starting the clean up, said one word (ONE word) to her family and pretty soon, I have close to 15 people making short work of what could have been 2-3 hours of cleaning. I love this family!!! They even offered to help me pack my car.
Can it get any better than that?

2. Grooms differ from man to man.
Some grooms are very solemn and quiet. You really don't know what they're thinking and whether they even want to be at their own wedding. Then others take a very hands on approach. My second wedding groom was like that. What a sweetheart!
He came to the reception venue early on Sunday to help set up and didn't quit until the job was completed. He even brought breakfast for everyone. All the time that he is working, his bride is never out of his site and several times during the morning, he asked her if she was alright, could he do anything for her, etc.
When it came time for the wedding toast at the reception, there wasn't a dry eye in the house because of the beautiful words that he used to describe his new wife. This is a man clearly in love. She went on celebrating with family and friends, he orchestrated the clean-up then whisked his new bride off to Paris for their honeymoon.

It just goes to prove that fairy tales really do come true!

Polling Question

I have two weddings this weekend so I am busy getting ready for them.
Weddings are really a large affair. Most people know how to plan and execute a party for 20-40 people, but doing it for 350? That is an entire different genre.

A wedding reception is crowd control. What will you be doing for all of the guests that you have invited? How will you get them all fed? Where will they sit and what will they sit on? How many table cloths do I need? Where do I get chair covers from? Where will everyone dance? What will they drink? Where will they park? What happens if......

As you can see there is quite a bit of thought that goes into an event of this size. What are you doing to plan for your guest's comfort?

Being ethical

Wedding vendors are a rare breed. It takes a lot of patience to deal with stressed out couples and their families. We must always maintain our composure, drop our prices to accommodate shrinking wedding budgets, and do far more than we are ever hired to do. If we are good at our craft, we will go above and beyond what we have been asked and usually do so with a smile on our face. Occasionally we get a respectful and courteous bride that renews our faith in our industry and we are good to go for another year or so.

Then you run across, what I like to call, the unethical vendor/business/service. You know exactly what I mean; we have all had our fair share of them from one time or another. They nickel and dime you, don't deliver what they promised, and have one excuse after another why or why not they didn't come through. It is always someone else's fault.

I had the unfortunate task of facing one such vendor/business this week. I caught them dead to rights on something that they had no business doing, called them out and told them that they were wrong and to own up to it. I presented them with the facts and here is what I heard, "It is the venue's fault; It is all a misunderstanding; We didn't think we were doing anything wrong," yada yada yada. Of course, the entire time they are telling you this they have that simple, sugary sweet smile pasted on their innocent faces. It is always some else's fault. No takes the blame. They think that it is okay and on to the next victim.

As a whole, we are a very forgiving society, but that only lasts for so long. When the buck stops, then we get smarter and start to demand justice and what is right. Many times a sincere apology, "I am very sorry, that I did what I did!" will heal even the most angry incident and life moves on. But when they refuse to take the blame, no one wins and trust erodes.

So how do you guard against this type of vendor behavior? Very carefully! Get everything in writing. Investigate their ethics--ask friends and co-workers about their experiences with the vendor in question. And when in doubt, follow your instincts. The hairs on the back of your head are there for a reason and not just to hold your hat in place!

If it sounds like a skunk, looks like a skunk and smells like a skunk---it is probably a skunk!

Taking yourself seriously

Many brides and grooms start to panic or stress about two weeks before the wedding. It is getting down to crunch time and they may realize that there is a lot to do, or at best, that in less than 15 days they will be married, forever and ever.

Many couples want to do it all themselves and have it all. They get caught up in the moment of the reception, the party and the planning. I hate to say it, but sometimes the true meaning of the day gets lost in the hustle and bustle. Advertising and peer pressure adds to the hype and the ceremony often lasts only a few mere minutes in favor of "getting to the party."

This is where I am supposed to say, don't take yourself so serious, calm down, don't stress, everything will be alright. However, I am going to break with tradition and tell brides and grooms to take their wedding and their planning very seriously in so far with the ceremony.

Take the time to meet with your officiant. Discover some new things about each other, take your vows very serious and give the occasion the solemness that this deserves. You are getting married. This is a once-in-a-lifetime act that will bind your hearts together forever. Our government and congress takes marriage so serious that we write laws about the union. Songs are song about couples uniting and church altars are filled with couples every year pledging their love for each other.

The entire wedding is important, please don't misunderstand me, but your marriage vows---now those are the prose of poets. I attended one wedding where the groom was so in love with his soon to be wife, that he composed a song for her of his vows. When he finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the building. That, is love!